I let you step on me because my body was the only bridge between you and the holes I was covering
I didn't cry
Even though it hurt
It hurt to have holes
It hurt to hide them
It hurts to be stepped on
Maybe I had thought I was saving you, but I was really just destroying myself
What was a crater to me
To you was little more than rubble
I could drown in my own oceans
But to you they're just puddles
Shouldn't I have realized the planet you're from is bigger than mine?
When Life is about perception, do I ever cross your mind?
If we're looking at years, what's big to you is enormous to me
You made me so small
When all I wanted was to be seen
So I shoved and I pushed
I spent years building walls
When I should have burnt the bridges
That allowed you to make me feel so small
And really, it's no wonder how the intruder got inside
After all, I opened the door, left it to swing wide
And when I thought I was healing, I opened it to you again
Thought forgiveness is what it took for you and me to be friends
I thought if I just tired hard enough, we could see eye to eye
But I'm done breaking my bone to know what it feels like when you cry
Suffering alone never made me any stronger
The time I spent crying just got longer and longer
And then, all the tears in me dried up
I set to digging wells so I could refill your cup
In the midst of my drought.
I was concerned for you.
Maybe your mind isn't a haven
But your grass has its dew
And my mind was a desert.
Now riddled with gaps
And digging for your solution?
Brought me closer to collapse
Each day a new problem, each second I sunk
You always brought me deeper
I can't trust you to lift me back up
So I'm closing the gates
Taking back my control
You and I are done
This is my home
And I'll build me a garden
Right here in my head
I'll water the flowers
That cover the dead
The roots are not poisoned
The fruits good to eat
I plant the saplings
I nurture the seeds
Isn't it beautiful?
I heard her voice say
Maybe it is, I thought
Maybe I'll stay.
YOU ARE READING
After (2024)
Short StoryIt's a story about recovering from depression. My journey to stay happy after a long couple years. I write mostly poetry. If you want to read more about my struggles click my profile, I have one published story detailing my 2023 year. It's still har...
