[It starts off with Y/N in a prison cell as Tim, Stephanie, Peter, and Miles there talking to Y/N. Stephanie then starts off by saying]
Stephanie: Y/N, What did you do?
Y/N: Well, we're fine. Thanks for asking.
[Y/N says sarcastically]
Peter: Well, what happened?
Y/N: Oh, well, you see, I was trying to get these sweet deals on Black Friday. And I may have gotten into a little.... fight with some of the people there.
[Miles then looks confused]
Miles: A little fight?
Tim: Explain.
[Y/N then sits down and says]
Y/N: Okay, so, I was about three feet away from this good ass looking waffle maker, when some fat bitch knocked me over and tried to get it before me.
Tim: Well, that escalated quickly...
Y/N: Venom helped me get up and then we quickly showed the whore we wanted the waffle maker more than her.
Stephanie: [nervously chuckles] And uh... how'd you do that, exactly?
[Venom then appears and says]
Venom: Oh, by doing the most reasonable thing we could do.
Tim: Like respectfully ask her to give you it back?
Venom: Oh, God no. We lifted her up and used the Symbiote pile driver on her fat ass.
Y/N: After getting the waffle maker back from her hands, I went to the electronics section to get a playstation and a new gaming set-up for my room. I knew there was gonna be a lot of people there.
Peter: Wait, but don't you already have a playstation?
Y/N: Well, yes-
Venom: But it was 60% off and we weren't gonna miss it.
Stephanie: Honestly... I respect it.
[Y/N nods and then continues his story]
Y/N: So, anyway, the first people we encountered were a mother and two children.
Miles: Oh no... you didn't...
Venom: We started by grabbing the oldest of her offspring by his ankles and threw him into the ceiling.
Tim: God, Venom, Y/N, why would you do that?
Stephanie: [holds a hand at Tim] Wait, wait...[turns back to Y/N] Then what happened?
Y/N: We then thundercunted the younger child at the woman, taking them both out in one move.
Peter: How....why....?
[Peter stands there just confused]
Y/N: Once we had gotten our stuff we had gotten our stuff. We're not really sure what they were trying to buy...
Venom: But whatever it was, It had to at least be 30% off. So, we had to make sure we were the ones that got everything there.
[Stephanie, Tim, Peter and Miles look at eachother wondering if they should continue listening or should they just let Y/N be in the cell for a couple days. They all then nod as Miles says]
Miles: So.... then what happened?
Y/N: Well, then we had our eyes on the next thing we wanted.
Venom: An Xbox.
Stephanie: But, you already have an Xbox.
Y/N: Well, of course. But like the Playstation it was 60% off, so obviously we were gonna grab it.
Tim: Well, at leas-
Y/N: But unfortunately,
Tim: Oh boy here we go again...
Y/N: Some little shit was trying to get to it first.
Peter: Okay, so? You could easily grab the console from the kid and walk away.
Venom: And you'd be right. However, the little bastard had backup. His father was with him.
Y/N: Even with the enemies' larger numbers I charged forward, I had to make sure that the enemy couldn't get the Xbox.
Peter: [sighs] What did you do?
Y/N: I grabbed the little fucker by the neck and launched him at one of the display TV's in the background.
Tim: Jesus, Y/N!
Venom: Then the father yelled and tried to tackle us.
Venom, Y/N: BIG FUCKIN' MISTAKE. They just left their Xbox open to an attack.
Y/N: We threw his scrawny IT department ass with ease and went to go to the Xbox. The father had already recovered however. And tried to swing at us. Can you believe that? Using the hand-to-hand combat I learned by playing video games, I dodged that shit and returned with a wild hay maker to the chest sending him flying back down the isle. Probably breaking a couple of ribs in the process.
Stephanie: Well, did he survive at least?
Y/N: Well, we didn't want to let that happen. So, we grab his sons unconscious body from the display TV and used his body as a human baseball bat to knock those two fuckers out for the rest of the time.
Peter: I think you probably killed them.
Venom: [shrugs] Probably.
Y/N: So, after that, the cops had been called and here we are.
[They all look at eachother and look back him]
Miles: How much's your bail.
Y/N: 50 million dollars.
[They all look shocked]
All: What the fuc-
