Chromatic Musings

Destiny

It reassures me
Yet it used to
Annoy me so much
Thinking about
My choices being made
Without me as a thought
But for some reason
It now becomes a medicine
I plead for it
I ask unceasingly
Tell me what to do
What I am
Tell me
What I should do
What I was
Who I am
Betray the secrets
Of this being
Who asks you
For your orders
Give her instructions
Give her a goal
Grant her some peace
A way to release
Because then
She'll know
What her purpose is
The meaning for her
Existence
Instead of pursuing
Dreams and useless wishes
That might have
Never come true
She is roaming
She is searching
With sorrow
And determination
That wavers time to time
But returns with a strength
That surely
You could utilize
She no longer asks
To be understood
It remains a wish
Deep in her heart
Buried for now
Because there are
More important things
To think about
She knows what she's like
But who is she
And what will she be
The answer will be
Her very key
To unlock everything
That she's wanted to know
To become
To live
She ponders life
And its immeasurable sufferings
Its numerous mysteries
She doubts at times
Whether she's doing
What she's supposed to do
And the reason why
She hasn't become
A mere puppet
Is because she's looking
For a goal that feels right
Orders that make her
Feel loyal and inclined
To obey them
Without a thought
It's so hard to find
She's kept searching
And learning
More about the cruel world
And the true meaning
Of apathy and numbness
She's learned about sorrow
And suffering
True silent fear
She'll confess
That she's been naive
Thinking the world
Wasn't that bad
But now she can see
The bad and the good
And the good are so few
She wants to help
She wants it to increase
So she's begging now
To give her some sign
To bestow a wish
That doesn't feel wrong
That doesn't feel like
It's for someone else
She's asking for fate
Anyone to step in
To guide her
To show the way
Before her life
Is permanently
Set to dull gray.

~fin~