Chromatic Musings

Pain

It's painful
That helps
Not really
To describe it
Seems a little
Silly
For me
Pain is
Your heart
I want
To throw it
Away sometimes
Because too often
I walk
That very fine line
Where it's love
Or it's bitterness
Memories
Or past mistakes
The fact that
I can't not cry
Irks me
So much
That I
Can't help
But sigh
I'm ignored
My problems
Don't matter
Only because
I am the
Oldest
And it hurts
It aches
It stings
To know
You're pushed
To the side
And forced
To make
Sacrifices
For others
When you
Weren't given
A choice at all
It doesn't matter
If I'm hurt
By my own blood
The fault will be
Mine of course
That's how it
Always is
And yet
It never fails
To make me hurt
There's nothing
For me to hold
Here at home
Where you
Can always
Find me alone
In my room
Or in a corner
Quiet and weary
Out of your sight
So very tired
Is this girl
She gets so
Depressed
At times
She thinks
How could
Anyone
Love her
At all
It's easy
To believe
At certain times
But other times
It all seems
To disappear
And the girl
Timid and scared
Deep inside
Feels that
Lonely fear.

~fin~