Chromatic Musings

Learn

Do you
Ever feel
Like you're
Drowning
Like the
Sun
Has stopped
Shining
Do you ever
Feel the darkness
Eat away at you
All the while
Everything
Is crumbling
It's real
It hurts
It's scary
But you learn
To let go
When it gets toxic
When it starts
To grab onto you
You can help
As much as you
Could
And stay
For however long
As you can
But tell me
If it starts gnawing
And ripping
Away
Your own happiness
If it starts clawing
And gnashing
Its teeth
For you
I've learned
That you leave
That you can't
Keep giving yourself
Away
You can't give up
Your health
If you have to force
Yourself to stay strong
To smile when you
Want to cry
How is that
Healthy
If caring
About myself
Will drive family away
If thinking about me
For once
Turns others astray
What am I to do
Other than watch
From afar
And help
From a distance
Since I tried
And I listened
To family
And friends
Alike
I'm a hero to myself
But a villain to others
But perhaps that's
Alright
Is my selfish thought
Even when leaving
I wrote and prayed
That they would be okay
I spoke and I warned
I stayed silent
But listened
And those who care
Tell me to stop
That I shouldn't bother
And just move on
To stop waiting
To stop listening
To stop looking back
For a family
For anyone
Who wasn't there
The past is in the past
And I'm starting
To learn
To just leave it
At that.