What is Love?

12.

Dis trip was a waste of fuckin time! That otha plug was on some janky shit, nigga tried to get ova on me. Tried supplyin me wit some mid fa damn nea 3 times the price. I started to pop one in em fa wastin my fuckin time.

The only thing good bout comin down hea was seein Rel. And she still bad. A nigga used to laugh at dem boys who let they rida go ova petty shit, now I'm kickin my own ass fa lettin ha go. Man damn! I knew this was gon happen. When I try to get her out my mind, and focus on some otha shit, she pop up in person. She usually come to my mind every once in a while, but she been on it so heavily lately, that I dun started googlin ha, and just when I give up, she show up. Guess everything do happen fa a reason.

I extended my trip by a day in hopes of runnin into Rel again. Loco cut his trip short a day by leavin as soon as we got outta dat bullshit ass meetin. Ion blame him, I would've left too, had I not seen Rel. But vacation time is ova, its time fa me to go back to NOLA, and get back on my grizzy. This extension was a waste of time too, since I ain't seen Rel no moe.

I did get that driva nigga car straightened back up, that shit had went ta war wit us on that first day. Shit look brand fuckin new now, but it was the least I could do fa puttin his car though hell and back. I had the auto shop put a rush on gettin it fixed tho, since I knew I wasn't gon be hea long. I wanted to give his car back the same way he gave it to me: free of bullet holes. And I didn't need him sendin me no bill fa damages and shit. Not tryna pay moe den necessary.

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I'm headed ta the airport now, I'm moe den ready to go back home, now. I'm irritated wit the city, I came up hea fa one reason: gain a new connect. Then I had anotha reason ta stay: find Rel. And since none of that went as planned it's time fa a nigga to get back to his stompin grounds. This a cool city tho, I'll probably come back to chill fa a few days, but I'll neva try ta make no moves out'chea again, ya heard me?

When we pulled up to the airport, I noticed a blacked out car, pullin up wit a police escort. I ain't know da prez was in town, that's what up tho.

"Hope you enjoyed your stay, have a safe flight, sir." The driva said.

"It was cool. Preciate it, and again sorry about ya car." Yeah, I told em what went down wit his whip, but surprisingly he was cool about it.

"I told you it was no worries, thanks fa gettin it fixed so quickly though." I nodded and peeped ova at the car, when I noticed Aurelia gettin out and walkin in the airport. Wonda whea she headed? I'll have my chance ta talk ta ha, since the security line take fa eva.

I went and stood behind some lady at the check in kiosk that was next to hers. The lady was almost done, and Rel was just gettin started. Perfect time to make my presence known.

When the lady moved, I stepped up, and started typin in my info fa this flight back to NOLA.

"Nice entrance, ya had thea." I said sarcastically, she really did too much to only be gettin dropped off at the airport. But I peeped the lil eye roll. Still got a bad attitude, I see.

"Thanks" she spat dryly as she hauled ha luggage wit ha towards security. I finished up a few seconds lata and followed right behind ha.

"How ya been though?" I asked tryna make conversation wit ha. A nigga ain't seen ha in buku years, I'm tryna play catch up.

She turned towards me befoe speakin. "Excellent, up until this moment." she faked smiled and turned back around. Ouch, that hurt.

"Why you gotta do me like dat, ma?" I asked with a hurt smile, but she ain't see it cause she ain't turn around.

"Like what? Like I'm not happy to see you? I'm not" she scoffed befoe movin up. Damn, her words hurt like hell.

"I'm happy ta see you though, and I miss ya" I smirked.

"If I were you, I would feel that way about me too." she said wit out a care in the world as she handed them folks ha stuff.

"So what you end up havin?" I asked afta goin through the same shit. I know what she had, I just wanna see if she gon tell me.

"Oh, so now you worried? Why you wanna know what I had? Didn't you tell me to get rid of that thing?" she mocked me. Damn I really sounded like a heartless lil boy den. "Oh, here" she said handin me $500. "So you can't say I owe you nothin either." Damn, she gotta be doin well fa ha self, if she dropped this on'a nigga wit out a second glance.

I took the money out ha hand though, and played wit it fa lil while. "Ion want this, I just wanna see my baby." I smirked, and tried ta give ha back ha money. I didn't want the money, shit it ain't nothin to make this in a few hours.

"YOUR baby?!?!?! Whatever you been smokin, imma need you to go to rehab for it. MY child and I want nothing to do with you, just like you wanted nothing to do with her. So keep the money, and go on about your merry little life. We straight, we been straight, and we gon remain straight." She said goin through the metal detectors.

I know I fucked up. When them words left her mouth, I could see the pain. Shit that hurt me too. To know I have a daughter growin up wit out me, is a stab to the chest every time I think about it. I wasn't thea fa nothin. I wouldn't know ha voice if she stood next ta me and said hey ta me. It hurt me like hell when she actually left instead of comin back and makin me own up ta my responsibility. I felt like she gave up on'a nigga. I knew Rel wasn't gon kill my seed, but I ain't think she was gon up and leave like that eitha. I know I should've rolled through when she called me ta be there, but I felt like she really ain't need me, which is why I kept ignorin ha calls and shit when she would blow up my phone.

While she was puttin ha shit back on and gettin ha shit off the belt. I decided ta let ha know she still had my heart, so I spoke up.

"Just remember, I'm leavin my heart witchu. Fa eva and always." I said in hopes of ha sayin the otha half of this phrase.

She looked at me like I had lost my damn mind. "I left it a long time ago." And with that she disappeared into the crowd goin to find ha gate. I shook my head, and went in the opposite direction.

Baby girl, straight heartless now. I know it's my fault. I created this. Too late to trip off spilled milk now though. I just hope one day we can sit down and I can explain this shit ta ha. I was a childish, petty, lil boy back then. I've grown up, and started ta think about shit befoe I say anything ta my fam now. I've said a lot of fucked up shit ta a lot of people. But the person who got it the worse was the one who had my child, and I have to live with knowing she don't give two fucks about me no moe.

Maybe, I can get my mama to set up this lil reunion though. Rel seem ta not have a problem wit talkin ta my mama. If ion eva get anotha chance ta be wit Rel, I at least wanna start buildin a relationship wit my baby girl.

I got a lotta shit ta think about, and a lot moe shit ta get done. Bring on the stress. I sighed and sat down waitin on the people ta board the flight. Back to NOLA I go.