What is Love?

6.

"Army man! What up?" I said into my trap phone, must've got the numba from my mama. My brother called me, and I haven't heard from him in years, he was stationed somewhere overseas, after country #3, I kinda lost track of everything. My mama was keepin me updated on his status, so I knew he was still breathing.

"Shit nothing, I'm back home though, where you?" oh shit! My brother back home, this nigga been gone for like 6-7 years. I might have to stop what I'm doin fa a lil minute to go see my bro.

"Whea else, nigga?"

"Damn, you still trappin, ain't it time to give that up?" Honestly, I have thought about it, but it ain't much I can do wit just a high school diploma. I could go work some dead end 9-5, but ain't tryna work fa nobody ya heard me? I could buy out a small business, but I don't fuck wit the government like that, they always tryna see young black men down, and a nigga will become an easy target if I come up in the legit business world.

"Nah, not just yet, the money too nice."

"I hear that, but slide through moms house."

"Aight bet" I said and we hung up. I finished weighing this product, and put it up for tomorrow. I better not be a gram short either when I come in this bitch tomorrow. My glock stay cocked, and it's been feenin fa a bust.

__

"Alex!" I yelled walkin in my mama house.

"Nigga, I know you ain't come up in my house yellin fa Alex, when I ain't seen or heard from yo ass in at least week. Walk out and try that shit again." Damn, forgot she ain't have to work today, so I walked out and walked back in.

"Hey mama" I said hugging her and kissing her cheek.

"That's better, Adonis. Anyway, Alex in the shower, he'll be down in a few. You stayin fa dinner?" she asked. Shit I ain't had no home cooked meal in a good lil minute.

"Of course" I responded with a playful smirk. She walked off mumblin about her cookin moe often. I shook my head, and sat on the couch befoe I started flippin through channels.

__

"My hard headed lil brotha, what up boy?" I had dosed off, but woke right up when I heard my brotha.

"Damn, you buff, what you on, steroids?" my mama got 3 kids, and all of us skinny as hell, but eat like there's no tomorrow, but in my case there might not be a tomorrow fa me, so I try ta live everyday like it's my last. Anyway, I'm the baby and the most reckless, Alex the middle child and the most level headed, and Anwar the oldest, but he locked up right now, been down fa almost 10 years, he'll be out soon tho.

"Nah nigga, it don't really be shit ta do out dere except work out and eat."

"How long you back fa?"

"Ion really know, could be anywhere from 6 weeks to a year or moe, when they call, I gotta be ready ta go back." I nodded in understandin, guess I better enjoy this time wit his swole ass. "Where ya lil thug ass shadow at?"

Damn! I knew that question was comin eventually, wasn't expectin it this soon though.

"Ion even know, we kinda lost touch a while back. It's a story ion really wanna get into."

"I can respect that, do you at least get ta see ya daughter?" he asked and I grew hella confused.

"My what?" I asked.

"Come back, and my brother don't even know he got a daughter, damn shame" he mumbled shakin his head. "Did Rel tell you that she was pregnant?" I nodded. "Ok, you gon have ta explain this story ta me, cause I'm confused now."

I sighed and told him to follow me outside. My mama hates hearin that story, and I don't need her to overhear it and cuss my ass out again fa that shit.

"How you know she got a daughter?" I asked befoe I say anything else, I didn't even know that.

"The picture on the mantle of ha and the baby, they look alike too. But tell me what's up."

Aight, here goes nothin...

"Ok, bout a year afta you left, it was a price on my head, and I was tryna kill that noise. Rel ain't know shit about it, and I wanted to keep it that way. One day, I get home and somethin jus seemed off. I get in the room, and she look hella nervous about somethin, and she was neva nervous round me. I sat down, and she immediately said she had somethin ta tell me. I wait on ha ta tell me, and she tell me she pregnant. I couldn't put ha and the baby life in danger. But wit out thinkin, I told her to either get an abortion or leave and don't call me fa shit. I left ta go handle some shit at the trap, when I got back, she was gone. Ain't seen or heard from ha since. I know I fucked up, and I regret that shit everyday."

This nigga hit the back of my head so hard, I thought he was tryna detach it from my shoulda. "You should, you was in love wit that girl. Even saw ya self havin a few kids wit ha, how the fuck you let them words come out ya mouth?"

I ain't even know who to look at, I see 3 of this nigga. "Shit! Ion even know. Told you I wasn't thinkin" damn my head hurt like a bitch.

"Damn shame. She probably got some other nigga playin daddy ta ya daughter now."

I quickly regained focus afta that bullshit that left his mouth. "I'll kill that nigga." I said wit venom drippin in every word.

"Too late fa that shit now, should've thought about that when you gave ha that bullshit ass ultimatum. Ain't no real ass female gon choose a nigga ova ha own child. Rememba how you felt when you grew up wit out a dad? That's what yo child goin through right now" and wit that he walked back into the house.

He said some real ass shit, I can't let my baby go through the shit I went through wit out my pops.

__

"Ma!" I yelled out fa ha when I walked back in ha house.

"Kitchen!" I made my way in there, but stopped when I seen my world smiling brightly wit our daughter, damn they do look alike.

"Where you get that picture of Aurelia and the baby?"

"I reached out to her and asked for a picture, and she sent me a couple the other day, and I went up to Walmart and had them print em out."

"How you find ha?"

"Her cousin was down here fa somethin, seen him at the store, and he was on the phone with Lia, I asked to speak with her, and at some point she said she would email me some pictures, so she did."

I gotta find Rel and explain some shit, and I thought my mama would have a phone number at least, I know fa a fact she'll ignore my shit if I was ta email ha. Fuck it, if you don't shit, google does, let's just hope she's done somethin google worthy.