What is Love?

15.

It's been about a week or so since my Houston trip, and honestly, I feel completely free. I guess goin off on Adonis helped a lot, and I don't give 2 fucks about how hurt his feelings are over this, did he care about mine when he told me to abort my baby? Hell no, so why should I care about his?

Anyway, I know he's probably gonna be out there lookin fa me, but he can have fun trying it. The most he gon find is my name, job, and what city I'm in. Danielle's twin brother, Daniel, is a computer geek. With his help, I am able to live completely off the radar, and he wipes out my daily activities everyday like clock work. I don't wanna be found, and I wish Adonis would respect that.

Honestly, I don't mind him being a father to Amani, though. But I do know what he does for a living and I don't need my baby's life in danger for sharing his DNA. That's why I live so off the grid. I keep up this attitude, in order to push him away, to ensure I have no ties to him. I don't need nobody after me and mines.

I don't hate him, as horrible as he did me that day, I can't hate him. I don't love him like I used to, but I still got love for him. And at the end of the day, he's still Amani's sperm donor, and yes she does know who he is and what he looks like, she just doesn't care that he's not around anymore. I honestly had nothing to do with that, but after crying for a person to come so much, we all eventually learn to accept the fact that they may not ever be there. I just hate that she's at the age where she remembers stuff now, so I know whenever he decides to pop up, she'll probably have an attitude with him.

It hurts that he was heartless towards not only me, but Amani as well. She didn't deserve the words he said that day, it wasn't her fault he didn't wanna use a condom. It hurt to know that she don't care whether or not her 'dad' is gonna come. But what hurts the most is when I would hear her say she doesn't have a dad, and she used to say it without a care in the world, like it's normal. I've told her to stop saying that, and she has, so whenever people ask about her dad, she just tells them she don't know where he at. It's the truth. Outside of her dramatic and diva behavior; she's blunt, there is no filter on her mouth, and she's nonchalant; which she inherited from Adonis. She does have my bad attitude, but it's rare that you see that side of her.

But anyway, enough of Adonis punk ass. That dude, Devin, that I met in Houston is a pain in my ass! He so fuckin clingy, nigga call everyday and ask when I'm comin back in town. I got a whole life in San Diego, I'm not gon keep flyin my ass down there for him. He got the game all fucked up.

Danielle, however, will be moving to Houston though. Instead of getting a building though, we bought an empty plot and decided to build it from the ground up, like we did the store here. The realtor found us a great location, and the legal side of everything is almost done.

Amani didn't wanna leave, so we're staying. I asked her if she wanted to move closer to her Glammy, and she said she would miss her papa too much cause that's her best friend. She doesn't want Danielle to leave, but she'd rather have Danielle move if that meant she could stay.

__

I was sitting in my office going through some emails from different clothing boutiques that were trying to do business and get their stuff sold. Some of these people seemed like scammers, and I don't fuck with them, so I respectfully declined their wishes. Others however, have to send me a link to their website, and a sample so that I could see what they have to offer.

As I was responding to the last email, I received one from Ms. Diana, Adonis mom. Wonder what she want? I shrugged and opened the email.

From: dianacarter@gmail.com

To: aureliab@coe.net

Subject: Please think about it

I chuckled a little at the subject, must have something to with Adonis, so I continued to read.

Hey, Rel.

Hope everything is going great with you. I know you probably want me to get straight into it, so I will.

I know everything with you and Don, haven't been great since the news of your pregnancy, but he wants to sit down with you and explain everything. I know you probably want to hear nothing he has to say, but it would mean the world to him if you agreed.

He kicks his own ass damn near daily, for letting you go and saying what he said to you. And anytime I hear that story, I be ready to beat his ass too.

I know you're a busy person, but if you get a chance, could you call me and let me know when you can be down here, that way I can set up this "meeting" between the two of you? It's not required that Amani comes with you, but I would love to see her.

Love,

Diana C.

p.s. Send some more pictures of my beautiful granddaughter!!!!!

Me, take Amani to New Orleans? That ain't happening, I don't need nobody to see her and get any ideas. I can always pay for her to fly up here and see her, but I can't and won't take my baby to NOLA.

I have no interest in hearing what he has to say, but I'll suck it up and go hear him out.

Well, Rel, looks like you're headed back to New Orleans. I shook my head, and composed an email, since my phone was somewhere charging.

From: aureliab@coe.net

To: dianacarter@gmail.com

Subject: My Decision

Hi, Ms. Diana!

Everything is well, thanks for the concern.

I've made up my mind, I will come down, but Amani won't be with me. Amani is in sports this summer, so she's just as busy as I am. However, I can get you a plane ticket to fly out here to meet her.

I have no interest in what Adonis has to say to me. But I also have no problem hearing him out, so I will be down there, sometime during the week of July 20. I will call and confirm as the date gets closer.

For future communications call or text me:

As Always,

Aurelia B.

p.s. Attached is a photo of your adorable diva in training

That week is the week of Amani's bye week, so one day during that week, I'll leave her with my grandparents and I'll head to NOLA.

Should've known he would use his mama to contact me. But like I said, Rel is headed back to Nawlins. This is gonna be interesting.