My Secret Lover | HEESEUNG

35- A Mother's Betrayal

HEESEUNG'S POV;

I was only 10 when my mom left me. For many nights I wondered why she wouldn't come home after a fight with my dad. He would often tell me "It's okay" and "Don't worry," but I couldn't help but worry. What was happening? Why was mom leaving so much?

I found the answer to my question not long after.

I overheard my mom and dad arguing downstairs again. I peeked my head and watched them yell at each other from the stairs. Hearing them yell at each other scared me. I was afraid of the outcome. I was afraid of what might happen to this family.

My older brother, Heedo, calmly told me to return to my room. Though I was young, I now realize that he already knew what was happening, I was too young to read the worries in his eyes. I was about to my room to escape the terrifying reality, but my dad's voice made me freeze in my spot.

"I already know you're cheating on me, Jiwon! Let's end it here. The boys and I will be better off without you!"

I vividly remember dropping my favorite stuffed animal on the floor that night. I remember the wide eyes Heedo gave when he heard that too. Back then, I thought he was just as shocked as me, but thinking back, I realized he was more worried about me finding out that way.

Heedo sent me to my room that night and told me to go to sleep. The next morning, I was filled with so many questions. The house was quiet, I remember. Specifically that more, all three of us were sitting at the dinner table, eating our breakfast in silence.

"Is it true?"

Heedo and Dad stopped eating and looked over at me. "What is, son?" "About Mom cheating on you," I asked in a quiet voice, my lips slowly turning into a frown. My dad had fear written across his face and he seemed tense. "W-What? No! Of course not," he tries to persuade me. "B-But, I heard you say it last night."

My dad's face turned pale and he looked over at Heedo, then back at me. "Heeseung-ah, you probably heard wrong since you were tired–" "NO! Stop lying to me! You always tell me "it's going to be okay" but you and mommy are always fighting and I know what I heard last night!"

I recall running back up to my bedroom and locking myself inside that day. I cried and cried, hugging my favorite stuffed animal close to me. Both my dad and brother would knock on my door to get me to let them in, but I refused.

"Heeseung-ah, it's Heedo. Can you let me in? It's just me, dad's downstairs."

I stayed silent, debating whether I should let him in or not.

"Hees–"

I opened the door with teared-filled eyes, my lips stuck at a frown. The moment Heedo pulled me into a hug, I burst into tears again. I remember him patting my back to calm me down and said, "We'll be okay." He pulled away from the hug and looked at me in the eyes. "We'll be okay alright? You, me, Dad, we'll be okay."

"But why did mommy do that?" I asked with a broken and weak voice. I remember his eyes softening and gradually welling up with tears. "Mommy just– she just..." He paused and took in a deep and heavy breath, tears rolling down his face. "Mommy just wants to be somewhere else."

He wasn't wrong, but growing up I learned to understand what he meant back then. He knew but he didn't want to tell a 10-year-old boy that his mom left him and his family for another man. He didn't want to tell the 10-year-old boy that his mom won't be coming back anymore.

"Does mommy not love us anymore?"

Heedo took in a shaky breath and placed a hand on my shoulder. "S-She loves you, hm?" "No. You're lying, I can see it. I hate liars!" I hid myself under my blanket. I felt the bed sink when Heedo sat on my bed.