My Secret Lover | HEESEUNG

54- Her Decision

HEESEUNG'S POV;

It was another day cooped up in my room. Another day I didn't want to go through. Another day of only wanting to lay in bed and do nothing as my mind goes in loops thinking. Thinking of how to get her back.

Not a day goes by that I didn't think of her. I missed her and it's been days. She won't respond to my messages or read my texts. I even left voice messages in hopes she would listen to them.

I couldn't help but overthink ever since that day.

"You should go home, Heeseung."

"Please, just go. I-I think I need to be alone right now."

Those were the last words I heard from her. It's been too many days. Did she need more time? Has she been doing alright? Has she been thinking about me like I've been thinking about her? Does she still want us? Or yet, does she not want us anymore?

So many doubts and worries swarmed through my mind. Was Jay still upset? I knew what I did betrayed his trust but I couldn't help it when my heart called for her.

I thought again and again about how to fix things with Jay. How to mend our friendship again and most importantly, his trust. Our friendship couldn't be broken like that. If Jay wasn't going to be the pillar to keep this friendship, I will.

I couldn't bear to think about losing Jay as a friend. And I couldn't bear to think about losing Y/n either. My heart aches just the thought of the two. I couldn't lose the two, they're far too important to me.

Even if I somewhat made up with Jay, how would I ever regain his trust? I broke it twice. If he can't even trust me, how could we ever be friends again? How will things go back to the way they were?

My brain aches from thinking and thinking just to never land on a solution.

I glanced over at my phone, which was thrown beside my head. Feeling a bit hesitant, I grabbed the phone and instinctively dialed her number again.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

The ringing went on for a couple of more seconds. My finger tapped on the side of my phone anxiously. I bit the thumb of my free hand as the tight feeling in my chest rose rapidly.

The call went to voicemail. I chewed on the inside of my lower lip as tears welled in my eyes. I released a shaky breath that was being held and without thinking, I grabbed my keys and left the house for the first time in five days.

With the courage I had left, I knocked on the door. I wasn't ready to face Jay if he happened to open the door, but I was desperate.

The door opened, and my heart raced faster. There she was – at the door, right in front of me. Her eyes were just as shocked as mine as we stood in front of each other after days of no contact.

My lips parted, but nothing came out.

"What are you doing here?" She asked me with a faint voice. "I–I... You didn't answer any of my texts or c-calls, and–" "You have to go, Jay might see you," Y/n cuts me off, trying to shut the door, but I pushed back.

"Why are you avoiding me? I thought we were going to get through this. Didn't you want us?" I asked, my voice fading at the end as my throat started to feel tight. She sniffled and looked away, wiping her tears.

She only stood there in silence.

"Are you giving up on us?" I managed to ask, my eyes trying to seek an answer in her glossy eyes.