Charmer ||Lee Minho / LeeKnow||

Chapter 8 - Rian

"Well, it's you" That's what she said to me earlier in the car. It's me. What was me, what did she mean by that? At first I thought she meant that I had an affect on her, like I made her nervous, but in a good way. Even that boggled my brain to be honest. Whenever someone tended to say "it's you" to me, it usually meant I'd done something wrong or was at fault for something, based on past experience. So when Lex said it to me in that way, it kind of took my breath away a little bit, whilst I tried to figure out what it was she was saying. I didn't know what to say to that, so I obviously defaulted to my sarcastic, pain in the ass mode to deflect.

But now.... Now I was starting to think she meant it in a completely different way. Was she telling me that I was the reason she had the panic attack in the car? I mean, it made sense. I'd pretty much forced her into coming here. I hadn't asked her if she would be okay with that, hadn't even thought to ask if she would be okay with being alone with me in private. What we'd done in the alleyway was completely different than being with someone alone inside, I knew that. Hell, even I knew about the difference between being around different people and in different settings. Shit Ri, that was a dick move on your part.

And now, here she was getting distressed again because of me. I'd figured it out eventually, albeit too late. And now she was apologising to me for making her feel like shit, even though that's on me.

Shit, even Dex knew it was my fault somehow. He'd said as much in the car earlier...

I realised I was now in the garden, just standing completely still staring into space. I'd walked away from her, stuck in my own head and just left her in the garage. Shit Ri, are you trying to set a new record of highest number fuck ups this evening or what? I berated myself. I turned to head back into the garage and face the damage I had caused, only to find her standing a few feet behind me.

"Rian? What's going on, what's wrong? I'm sorry if what I said wasn't what you wanted to hear..." Lex said softly.

"Lex", I interrupted, "it's not that. Please stop apologising for something that isn't your fault. I feel bad enough as it is..."

"What, Why?" she asked, concern shining in her eyes as she came closer to me, slowly.

I stepped back from her a little. I needed a couple of minutes to process the shit going on in my head. "Lex, please. I'm sorry, I'm not good with dealing with my thoughts straight away. Can I just have a couple of minutes to process? I promise it's nothing you have done, it's me, I just need to...I need to talk to Dex real quick if that's okay? Can you wait here for a minute?" I pointed to a seat slightly behind her.

"Urm, yeah I guess. Take the time you need" she responded, turning to look at the seat in the garden area.

I turned and strode away from her, feeling like a complete jerk. And now you've upset her even more. You really are a prick.

I pulled out my phone and dialled Dex. It rang through to his voicemail. "Hey it's Dex. I know you're calling, I just probably don't wanna answer you. If you leave a message I might get back to you. Or not, who knows. Find out loser." I hung up, refusing to leave a message. I dialled again. Same, no answer. Come on Dex, please answer me, I need you right now, I thought, dialling him again. No answer. SHIT.

I sent him a text instead.

Dex, pick up you little shit. I have an emergency.

Fire.

I really needed to learn how to deal with my emotions by myself. I knew that, I couldn't keep relying on Dex to help me process my shit all the time. No time like the present, let's start figuring out a way to fix this shit show you're staring in right now, I thought to myself.