Secretly Married : NERD BECOMES CASANOVA

Chapter 57

(Steph's POV)

I stared at my full body reflection on the mirror. My face was lightly colored with make up, my hair was loosely curled, and I was dressed in white. I felt goosebumps all over my body; pakiramdam ko lahat ng balahibo ko sa katawan nag sitayuan as if a cold air passed by. 

I gulped.

I don't want to be here, but I need to be here. I'm not ready for this, but I need to force myself to be ready for this anyway. I want to run away, but my responsibility lies to my most prime priority: my family.

My spine felt all that shiver. My legs feels like jell-o. Kung sana ay okay lang na takbuhan ko ang responsibilidad ko ay tinakbuhan ko na pero gaya nga ng sabi ko kanina, hindi pwede.

"You look gorgeous." I heard from behind me.

Nilingon ko ang pinanggalingan ng boses and to my surprise, I saw Exodus in his formal attire. He was leaning on the door arc while he was staring at me. His legs crossed over the other. He wore no expression.

"You shouldn't be here" sabi ko sa kanya but he only took a deep breathe and walked towards me and let the door shut by itself.

"Hindi naman ako ang groom mo kaya hindi magiging malas kung makita man kita" he answered and sat on my bed.

Again, silence won between us. No one dared to talk. Lagi nalang kaming ganito simula nung malaman niya ang tungkol saming dalawa ni Xavier. He always tried to change topics tuwing mapupunta kami sa usapang to. He always tried to enlighten the atmosphere between us tuwing maalala namin toh but today? Ngayong araw ng kasal ko? He's just all too quiet.

"Steph my off--" ito nanaman. Yung offer niya nanaman. Ilang beses ko pa ba sasabihin sa kanya na hindi ko matatanggap yon.

It's tempting. I swear it's really tempting. The idea of me running away from all the problems my family is currently in? The idea of me living peacefully without worrying about this arranged wedding? Tempting. But kaya ko bang gawin yon? No.

"I know, I know. It still stands. But again Exodus, alam mo na ang sagot ko diba?" sabi ko sa kanya as I sat beside him.

He didn't bother to look at me but of course he didn't manage to maintain the resistance. Tiningnan niya ako and I could see sincerity in his eyes "Kaya kitang itakas dito. All you have to do is say yes."

I gulped and answered: "I can't."

"Pamilya mo lang ba talaga ang rason mo, Steph?" he asked me and there I froze.

Anong ibig niyang sabihin? Na gusto ko parin si Xavier kaya hindi ako maka-oo sa offer niya? Is that what he means?

"You know that they're my only reason, Exodus. Wala ng iba." I said with bitterness trailing on my voice.

Totoo namang pamilya ko lang ang rason ko at wala ng iba kaya bakit iba ang pinaghihinalaan niya? Is this his way to pursue me to go run away from my wedding?

"Stop lying to yourself, Steph. Kung ayaw mo talagang magpakasal, hindi ka magpapakasal. I know you're not dumb enough to let somebody else decide a big part of your future! And the way I'm seeing it, you're not only doing this for your family, pero para nadin sa mga nararamdaman mo" he told me.

Nanahimik lang ako. I know I'm doing this for my family. I'm doing this for my family right? Para hindi kami maghirap. Para hindi masayang lahat ng mga pinaghirapan namin na ipaunlad. Para sa pangalan na pinaghirapan naming itayo. I'm doing this for them, alam ko yon. But am I really doing this for my feelings too?

Nagsukatan kami ng tingin ni Exodus. No. He's wrong. Wala na akong nararamdaman kay Xavier. All my feelings for him has been gone too long ago. P-para 'toh sa pamilya ko..