The Philocalist 〰 ♡ 〰 Volume Two

Fallout

Elle yawns, about to go to bed when she sees Jake's bedroom light still on and the door cracked open. As she gets closer, Elle hears Jake saying something.

Elle peeks inside and sees Jake sitting criss crossed on his bed with his eyes closed and hands clasped together under his chin. His head is tilted slightly upwards, like he's talking to someone above him.

"and please protect my mom and my Uncle Nolan in their dangerous jobs, please help mom feel better and give her someone like Ms. Zoe to make her happy again..."

Elle frowns, knocking on his door lightly before entering a little more.

"Jake? What are you doing?" Elle asks.

"amen" Jake says quickly before his eyes open.

"Jake? What's going on?" Elle murmurs.

"I was just praying" Jake answers, nervously.

"to who?" Elle inquires, softly.

"God" Jake responds.

"I didn't know you were religious" Elle frowns.

"Cassie used to take me to church, we would pray for mom... Cassie stopped taking me a year ago, stopped believing in him" Jake explains.

"oh, bud, I'm sorry" Elle answers.

"um, I'm not religious and I don't really know anyone who is, but I'm sure we could find some sort of church for you to go to, if you'd like that" Elle offers.

"really?" Jake asks.

"yeah, of course, I want you to be able to find comfort in your faith" Elle nods.

"thank you, mom" Jake grins, hugging Elle.

"and, Jake, why were you praying for someone to be like Zoe?" Elle asks.

"Zoe made you smile, I want you to smile more" Jake answers.

"that's really sweet, but Zoe was a... once in a lifetime thing, I don't think anyone else will want what Zoe wanted with me" Elle murmurs.

"why not?" Jake frowns.

"b-because... I'm... just not people's type" Elle says, struggling to explain it to an eleven year old.

"you're God's type, because God loves everyone" Jake grins.

"mmm" Elle hums. "it's super past your bedtime, so let's get you in bed, yeah?"

"okay" Jake says, scooting under the covers and smiling when Elle tucks him in.

"good night Jake" Elle smiles.

"good night mom" Jake says. 

Elle turns off the light and closes Jake's bedroom door quietly. She turns to walk to her bedroom but Nolan is standing right there and Elle jumps.

"Nolan!" Elle whisper yells. "you can't just stand there! you scared the living crap out of me!"

"you know, Jake might be right" Nolan says, quietly, as he follows Elle to her room.

"you're religious too?" Elle asks.

"not about God, about starting to date new people" Nolan answers.

"Zoe only died five months ago" Elle answers.

"and you won't be able to fully move on from that and learn to miss her and grieve her loss but also keep living your life if you don't start putting yourself out there. It doesn't even have to be dating, you could just do some socializing things" Nolan argues.