The Philocalist 〰 ♡ 〰 Volume Two

The Q Word

"are you sure you don't want to come?" Nolan asks before he leaves to meet up with some rookies he knows from the Academy.

"yeah, I'm gonna study" Elle answers, bouncing Sasha on one leg while her eyes are reading one of the SWAT books Grey gave her.

"you already have the guaranteed SWAT position" Nolan points out.

"and I want to do a good job" Elle responds.

"uh huh, or you could socialize" Nolan says.

"I have friends" Elle replies. "right?"

"yes, yes, you have several friends, but what's so wrong about making new ones?" Nolan inquires.

"because I could be studying" Elle answers.

"you're going to work yourself into the ground before you even move to SWAT" Nolan states.

"and, you're going to friends you know from the Academy and I didn't go to the same Academy as you, I won't know any of these people" Elle reasons.

"exactly, so you can make new friends" Nolan responds.

"Nolan, I really want to do be good at this" Elle insists.

"and you already are, come on, Katherine said she'd love to babysit the twins and Max tonight, come out, have some fun" Nolan basically pleads. "don't make me pull the my girlfriend might leave me for her ex husband card"

Elle pouts, looking down at her SWAT book longingly. "Nolan, I just-..."

She trails off and seems solemn all of the sudden.

"Elle?" Nolan asks, becoming worried.

"Zoe left a note" Elle whispers. "Grey told me that almost every senior police officer has a note to their loved ones in case something happens suddenly"

"what was in the note?" Nolan asks, curiously, not having heard of this before.

"s-she told me to take care of myself... to not blame myself for anything that happened... to know that she loved me... to find someone else eventually who makes me happy... and to follow my dreams" Elle sniffles.

"and you feel..." Nolan realizes, trailing off.

"SWAT is my dream and I at least owe it to Zoe to chase it" Elle murmurs.

"okay, I'm sorry for pushing, I wouldn't have if I had known-" Nolan apologizes.

"I know, I know, it's not your fault" Elle assures.

"okay... do you want me to stay? I can quiz you" Nolan offers.

"no, you go have fun" Elle shakes her head.

"okay, call me if you need anything" Nolan instructs as he gets ready to leave.

"okay, bye" Elle calls.

"bye" Nolan responds before leaving.

[Four Hours Later]

When Nolan gets home, he finds Elle fast asleep on the couch, seemingly having fallen over from an upright position. One of her SWAT books is open face down on her stomach and the twins are resting on Elle's chest.

"Uncy!" Dashia is still awake, squealing when she sees her Uncle Nolan.

"ssh, ssh, Dash" Nolan soothes, picking Dashia up.

Thankfully, Sasha and Elle are too deep in sleep to be woken up by the one year old. He picks Sasha up next, who pouts a little in her sleep when separated from her mom but leans into Nolan once she subconsciously realizes who it is.