What's Broken Can't Be Fixed

25

     The more they run, the harder it becomes to breathe. Jisung holds Seungmin's hands so hard. It was odd, feeling this way. When they get back to the house Seungmin runs inside and upstairs. The first thing he wanted to do... was wrap his arms around Chris. That always helped him relax.

     He wanted to kiss him, hug him, tell him things that he hadn't already. Seungmin reaches into his pocket for his inhaler and pulls it out, taking big puffs out of it to calm down. When he calms down, he looks over at the bed and sees something. A journal. It was black with a white leaf drawn on top of it.

     It was sitting in the middle of the bed. Like... he was meant to open it. Seungmin slips his inhaler back into his pocket and grabs the journal. When he flips open the first page, there was something written on it. A note. He reads the first few words... and tears already begin to well up in his eyes.

     Hey Seungmin. If you're reading this then I'm pretty sure that I'm gone now. Please don't get angry, but yes, I knew this was going to happen. I also know that there's something in this place that can give us more information. Anyways, I just wanted to say don't worry. I'll be back. We've had our fights, and our ups and downs but we'll never be fully torn apart. I hope you know that. I love you Seungmin, and I'm sorry that I left. Hyunjin wrote a note for Felix too, so make sure to comfort him when you're done reading this. Miss you already.

                                    - Chris

     Tears drip off of Seungmin's face and onto the page. He quickly closes the journal, not wanting to ruin the note. Just as he sets the journal down, he hears a thud coming from the room next to him. Seungmin runs into Felix's room and sees him on the ground with a notebook sitting next to him. "Hyung..." The only response he gets is Felix's crying. Seungmin kneels down next to him, pulling the boy into a hug. While listening to him cry, Seungmin glances over at the notebook. The first thing he noticed were the sentences, Save your tears. Don't waste them on something that doesn't deserve them. I'll be back... so wait for me please.

     He didn't know how Hyunjin could write that. It was obvious that Felix loved him. The problem wasn't that Hyunjin's disappearance didn't deserve his tears, it's that Hyunjin didn't believe that he deserved his tears. Then Felix remembered something. "I just wanted to make sure... that I couldn't die." He remembered what Hyunjin had said. He said that because he knew he would be captured later the next morning. Felix sighs, holding onto Seungmin's arm. He catches his breath, wiping his eyes.

                                                             4 hours ago

     Everyone sits on the couch downstairs except Felix and Seungmin. "We have to do something." Chris announces, and everyone waits for something else to be said.

     "Do what?"

     "You told me that in the car company you saw some pictures on the walls. With the vans and the people, right?" He asks and Changbin nods. "Was it day or night in them?"

     "Day. It was always bright outside." Minho chimes in.

     "Tomorrow morning, we go out into the forest. We'll split up to look for 'clues'. Hyunjin and I will stay behind. While you're all gone... We'll get captured."

     "What?!" Jisung's eyes widen, but Hyunjin tells him to quiet down.

     "This will help us get more information. It's risky but we have to."

     "Then why won't we just tell Felix and Seungmin as well?"

     Hyunjin sighs, his knee bouncing up and down. "Because they would never agree to it."

     After they finish talking, they all go back to their rooms. Chris walks upstairs and opens the door to his bedroom. There was Seungmin, lying down on his stomach. He moves quietly past the boy and goes into his bottom drawer, pulling out a journal. It was black and drawn on top of it was a simple white leaf.

     Grabbing a pencil and heading back downstairs, Hyunjin was already waiting for him with a notebook in his hands. The two walk outside and sit down in the two chairs on the porch. For the first few minutes it was quiet. The two boys thinking about what to write. Eventually they start writing. Suddenly, Chris hears a sniff coming from Hyunjin's direction.

     He turns towards him and sees tears welling up in Hyunjin's eyes, his hands shaking. Chris sets his journal down and takes Hyunjin's shaking hand into his own. "You don't have to do this, you know."

     "I want to! I really do!" He protests through his tears. Chris smiles.

     "Even I don't want to do this Hyunjin." He sighs. "Close your notebook and go to bed."

     "I'm not letting you go alone. You always do things alone because you're the oldest and you think that you're the only one that can do the protecting. You need protection too." Chris is surprised at his words. But he appreciates them.

     The next morning, everyone gets dressed to head to the forest. Seungmin slips on a short-sleeved shirt and jeans. He tames his bed head with his fingers, combing through it while yawning. Then the door opens, and Chris comes walking inside. Immediately Seungmin realized something was off. "What's wrong?"

     "Nothing." Chris groans, wrapping his arms around Seungmin's waist and resting his head on the boy's shoulder. He was holding him so tight Seungmin thought that he might burst. "I'm tired."

     "You don't have to come with us, I'm sure that we won't find anything anyway-"

     "I'm gonna go." He mumbles. "I will." Chris picks his head up and presses his lips against Seungmin's. No rush. Just slow and steady. He trails kisses along Seungmin's jawline and on his neck. He slips his hands under Seungmin's shirt to feel his skin against his fingertips.

     "Seriously, what's wrong?" The brunette backs away from him, a worried expression on his face.

     "...I love you"

     "What?" Seungmin swore he heard the boy say something, but it was too quiet to understand.

     "Go. I'll meet you there." Seungmin heads downstairs, and Chris tosses the journal on the bed. He stares at it for a moment, and then he runs down to meet them.