What's Broken Can't Be Fixed

19

     Felix sits down in a barstool, watching Hyunjin who's cutting up ingredients and throwing them into a pan. It smelled good. He turns and sees Chris and Seungmin sitting outside. They were starting to run out of food, so they needed to go to the store soon.

     After a bit more of cooking Hyunjin scoops some of the food into a bowl and places it in front of Felix. "It's the best I can do." He shrugs, combing his hair out of his face with his fingers. Felix looks down into the bowl, kimchi fried rice with an egg on top. It looked good, smelled good, and it sure as hell tasted good too.

     Felix exhales, holding his spoon tight. When suddenly, a tear slips down his cheek. Hyunjin's eyebrows furrow, walking over to the boy. "What's wrong?" He cups the boy's face in his hands, wiping it away. But more fell.

     A solemn look was on Felix's face, but despite how it seemed, a smile grows on his lips.

     Felix's eyebrows furrow, something in his expression's changes. "Am I dying?" He asks. The other doesn't answer. He stays quiet, shaking his head. However, the last thing Hyunjin expected Felix to do was smile.

     Hyunjin snaps out of his thoughts. He hated thinking about that. He hated that Felix did that. How he smiles when he's in pain. "What's wrong Felix?" He asks one more time.

      "I can't remember the last time my parent's cooked for me." Hyunjin's heart drops to his stomach when he hears this. Felix's smile still remains. "It's been 3 years. 3 years since I've seen my mom and dad, 3 years since I've seen my sisters. 3 years since my life was ripped to shreds. And now I'm stuck. My family is probably dead. And there's not a single fucking thing that I can do about it." All the food in the bowl was gone. Felix had a full stomach but an empty heart.

     "Felix there are still people in your life. People who love you."

     "What about you?" Hyunjin pauses. What did he mean?

     "What?"

     "Do you love me?" Felix just stares at him, waiting for an answer. And Hyunjin knew his answer.

     "No. I don't." Felix's eyes widen, and he starts to get up from his seat, but Hyunjin stops him. "Come on Felix stop! I like you. You shouldn't have to think about that. And I know you don't have your parents. None of us do! But just because we all lost our parents doesn't make your situation any less important. The problem is no one will be able to love you more than your parents will. Not even me. So, I don't love you. But I promise that while I do like you right now, I will learn to love you even more later. So please just bear with me. Okay?"

     Felix nods, wiping his tears. "Fuck... I don't know what answer I was expecting. That was stupid I'm sorry."

     "It wasn't stupid Lix." Hyunjin grabs the bowl and spoon. "Go get dressed. I'll wash the dishes." He ruffles Felix's hair, walking over to the sink. Felix just stares at his back.

     Why the hell would he ask that question? They just figured out that they like each other so why would Hyunjin love him. Of course he didn't. But what had Felix flustered was Hyunjin's answer. It wasn't what he expected.

     Meanwhile in Changbin and Jeongin's room, they sit silently. Jeongin lies on the bed, then he looks up at Changbin who's sitting beside him. "Hyung."

     "Yeah?" He glances at the younger boy.

     "I gave Seungmin my book, can you go get it out of his and Chris' room please?" Changbin stares at him, and then he pulls the hood of Jeongin sweatshirt over his head. "Hyung?!"

     "Why..." He groans, and Jeongin laughs.

     "Because I don't wanna move."

     "Neither do I!"

     "Go get it." Jeongin removes his hood and pushes Changbin towards the door. "Thank you~"

     "Yeah, yeah whatever. I'm only doing this because you're our baby bread."

     "Hey! I'm not-" Changbin closes the door before Jeongin could say anything else. Yes, Jongin was the youngest, but he didn't like being called that. They called him 아기 빵 because he was always the baby of the group.

     Changbin walks over to Seungmin's room and knocks on the door, but no one answers. So, he walks inside. The room was empty. He shrugs it off and walks over to the bed. But then he realized... he had no clue where Jeongin's book was. Changbin sighs, not wanting to walk back to ask him.

      So, he just starts looking. He looks under the pillows, in the closet, his backpack. Lastly, he looks in the drawers. There was a black journal and two small pictures in there. One of Chris and Hannah, and another of Chris and Seungmin as kids. Changbin chuckles at the second picture.

     Seungmin must have been at least 6, and Chris 8. Seungmin had his head resting in Chris' lap, he was looking up at the boy with his tongue sticking out at him. Chris on the other hand just stares down at him, laughing. It was a sweet picture.

     Changbin moves it out of the way and digs deeper into the drawer. He pulls out a book titled The Boy in White. But when he does something falls out of the drawer with it. He bends down further to pick it up. It was a business card.

     'Hyundai Motor Company' were the words written in big bold letters. On the back of the card was a man's face. The man had a cheeky smile on his face, his straight black hair parted down the middle. There was a phone number beside him too. Suddenly, Changbin hears the door open. He drops the card and turns around to see Chris standing there.

     It was dark in the room, and the way he was staring at Changbin made him look frightening. "What are you doing in here?" He asks. Changibn stands up with the book in his hand.

     "I was uh... getting Jeongin's book for him." He holds it up in the air, yet Chris walks closer to him. Changbin jumps, accidentally dropping the book.

     Chris bends down and picks it up. He hands it back to Changbin, and then just stares. "Hey, are you good? You look scared."

     Changbin chuckles nervously. "Yeah, I just... you looked kind of mad that I was in here."

     "Mad? No, I'm not mad! It's just that ever since those girls broke into the house you startled me a bit. That's all. I know it was 3 years ago, but I wouldn't be surprised if it happened again." He pats Changbin on the shoulder with a smile.

     The younger boy walks out, leaving Chris standing in the dark room. When Changbin closes the door behind him, Chris' smile fades. He bends down and picks up the business card off the floor.

     "Here I got you your stupid book." He hears Changbin yell from the other side of the wall.

     Chris sighs, throwing the card back into the drawer. "Dammit."