The Love We Deserve - Azriel x OC

You're safe. To forget, to heal or whatever you want to do.

Tossing and turning had become my new reality for the last few hours and my hands dug into my eyes as I sighed. Fucks sake. Maybe 3 days had been too much sleep. Or maybe I was just excited.

My legs swung to the floor, and I grabbed the silk nightgown to cover my under top and shorts before venturing out of my room.

The night was familiar and as I walked silently through the massive house, I relished in it.

I took my time in examining Feyre's paintings that hung on the walls, the fae architecture. It was all beautiful, homely. This little band of misfits that called this house home. The feeling made me ache, ache for the sense of safety, the feeling of trust that came from family.

We had built trust in the war, forced it upon each other in such a short time for the sole purpose of survival. And through that we had friendship, of sorts. Although I don't think I could tell you even 5 facts about any of the multiple people I met. But it was enough.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I stepped into the night air, mouth parting at the stars. Wow. City of Starlight indeed. It was one of those sights that you knew you'd never forget. But it brought a lightness to my chest that I thought I had long since lost. A hope.

My arms met the cool stone of the balcony and I allowed myself to bask in the night, to let my mind drift aimlessly as I studies the light from the city, the mountains.

"I thought everyone was asleep" I spoke softly, catching sight of the stray shadows curling up the pillar to my right.

"I was reading" Azriel took the space next to me, mimicking the way I leant on the balcony. "it's quite the view"

"you can say that again" I agreed, noting how casual he looked in his t-shirt and loose trousers, wings relaxed against his back. "did you grow up here?"

"a little ways out from here, in a camp with the rest of the Illyrian children."

"Illyrian?"

He nodded to my question, wings spreading wide.

"It's what we're called, the wings are a typical trait"

"so Rhysand isn't Illyrian?"

"Half" he corrected. "he can conceal his wings at will using his magic"

Azriel gave me a brief overview of Illyria and how things worked there. About the warmongering. The talk of clippings, women's wings being torn from them. It made my blood burn cold.

But we moved swiftly on, and he told me the story of how he met Cassian and Rhysand when they were boys in the camps.

I didn't ask about his hands. The scars were vivid, and they would've hurt. So, unless he told me, I wasn't going to ask. It did make me feel kind of bad though, that mine were so hidden and he wore his so openly.

"Why did you decide to fight?" he asked, both of us now facing each other with shadows weaving through my hair.

I sighed deeply, tilting my head back to peer at the stars.

"My parents died. Killed by fae, presumable." The words weighed heavy on my shoulders "by then Feyre could hunt alone, and there was a call for soldiers. Anyone that could wield a weapon. And so, I left"

"I'm sorry" he said quietly, searching my face. I shook my head lightly, flashing a tight smile.

"I think it would've drove me mad, staying in that town. But I suppose that happened anyway" I said, more to myself. "I just thought it would've been the right way to do things. To fight for our freedom. For the little girl I met in the forest." She had been so young when I first met her. Fourteen and taking care of her family. "coming back to find out that she had-" my eyes burned and I turned away from the shadow master with a shaky breath.

A warm hand pressed to my arm and my gaze met hazel.

"there wasn't anything you could have done. Whether you were there or not." He assured "and from what Feyre said, you may have saved her life. Her knowledge of hunting helped her take down the wyrm, and that came from you, so in a way, you helped save you despite not being there physically"

My lips pressed together, knowing what he was saying was far-fetched. But he was trying to help so I nodded compliantly.

"I mean it" he insisted, eyebrows lowering as he studied me "you underestimate the impact you made on her journey to here"

"I'm glad she's safe now. And that's what matters"

"you are too. You're safe. To forget, to heal or whatever you want to do."

"you sound like Rhysand" the tease was soft and his lips quirked up, head lowering as his wings drew in slightly.

"perhaps we all want the same thing"

I hummed, admiring the way the night caressed him, smoothing his features and blending him into the darkness.

"it is completely unfair how attractive you are"

His teeth gleamed in the low light, head tilting back as he laughed quietly.

"I believe you are changing the subject" his voice smoothed over me and the shadows in my hair twirled down around my arms.

"maybe" I shrugged "but it's no lie"

"then it is only fair for me to tell you how beautiful you are"

I tsked, shaking my head at him before pushing myself off from the wall and hugging the nightgown to myself. He stepped closer, heat exerting from his body and I refrained from getting any closer despite the chill of the air.

"Illyrian blood, it's also hotter than regular fae?"

"yes. Supposedly it's good enough to send pretty human females to sleep"

I chuckled at his teasing, moving past him to go back inside.

"which I'm sure they appreciated very much"

"I'm glad."

"what time does training start tomorrow?" I paused at the entry to the hallway, watching him stand in the living room.

"Dawn. I'll pass by your room when we're leaving" he offered and I nodded gratefully, a smile gracing my lips.

"Goodnight Azriel"

His wings fluttered at his name, dipping his head before his shadows returned to him.

"Goodnight, Alex. Sleep well"