The Love We Deserve - Azriel x OC

Selfish People

I found myself in the town, accompanying Rhysand as he needed to talk to some shopkeepers about something or other. And I was happy for the fresh air, the buzz of happy people.

"you should try the pastries in here, they're to die for" he insisted, guiding me into the bakery before I could turn down his offer. Several pastries later and a weird but pleasant green drink, we were back on task.

People dipped their heads at him as we walked, and the smile never left his face. I felt the subtle supremacy that was carved into his bones, the stuff he tried so hard to supress whilst he was here. He was a friend here, not a terrifying High Lord like the stories read.

"you're staring" he murmured, side-eying me and I smiled slightly.

"I'm trying to imagine you scary."

His eyebrows raised, smirk settling on his lips.

"you'll get the chance. I'm the first High Lord you've met?" he chuckled at my nod "a poor example of how we are displayed then. I am more the stereotypical version of myself when we pay visit to the Court of Nightmares"

"why don't you show your wings?"

"they are...very precious to me. Only my mate has ever been allowed to touch them." Rhys guided me around a corner, now straying from the village.

"I will warn you Rhys, if you intend to get me alone to kill me, you will not get far."

He grinned at my joke, looking across at me.

"you have no weapons"

"that hasn't stopped me before"

He hummed considerately, violet eyes gleaming with life.

"you don't talk about what happened" he stated, "I think you should. It would help with the nightmares"

"I'm sorry they keep waking you all, I try to be quiet" heat painted my cheeks, and he placed a hand on my arm to stop us.

"Alex, make no mistake, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. We all hold a great deal of respect for you, and we are not immune to our own night terrors"

"of course- I didn't mean to" panic raced through me "you all must've been through much greater than a little war"

"a little war?" he repeated with a shake of his head "war is never little, Alexandrite"

My shoulders sunk, sitting next to him on a bench by the river he had led us to, elbows coming to rest on my knees with my hands supporting my chin.

"Does it ever get easier?"

"you learn to carry the weight" he promised "one day it will seem much smaller"

"one day" I echoed with a nod, watching the waves roll carelessly.

"If you'd like, I can get some sleeping tonic from Madja, to help"

I shot him a smile at the offer, shaking my head lightly.

"that's okay. I need to be able to work through it. And I don't like the thought of being completely vulnerable at night."

"I could have Azriel stand guard outside your door" he teased, and I couldn't help but smirk at the thought.

"I'm sure he'd love that"

"you'd never hear him complain about it" he assured, and we settled into a comfortable silence.

"can I ask you something?"

"it's only fair, I have asked you many"

"Feyre talks about you often, about how you grew up protecting her and her sisters, despite your disagreements" Rhys said, and I sat back, pulling one of my legs onto the bench as I gave him my undivided attention. "Why did you decide to help her, to help them? so many people must have known and turned a blind eye, but not you"

"when I met Feyre, she was only 11. Her mother had just passed, and she had been crying just outside the woods." The memory appeared in my mind, seeing her small body curled in on itself. "she reminded me of myself, when I was her age." My gaze lifted to his "did Feyre ever tell you about my brother?"

"only that you had one" he confirmed gently.

"he had died, just before he turned four. Three months before I met Feyre." I rubbed my jaw as my lip twitched "I had spent a lot of time where she was, and my parents-they were dealing with their own grief. I knew how it felt to be in that place, alone. So I sat with her. And then before I knew, she was meeting me in the town. Following me around whilst I worked and asking me a million questions an hour" I smiled "she filled a hole in me, and I think I did the same for her. I still remember the day I caught her in the woods"

My eyes tracked the small body travelling through the woods, drawing my bow back tight until the arrow aligned with my target. The wind blew my hair slightly and I fired, hearing the thud of wood hitting wood along with a shriek, climbing down from the tree.

"I told you not to follow me out here, Fey" I prowled towards her, little face relaxing at the sight of me before I pulled the arrow out of her hood. "could've been killed" my voice warned but she paid it no mind.

"could you teach me to shoot like that?"

"no. but I can teach you how to hunt"

"she came out with me everyday since. And eventually she began to get to grips with hunting. Small things at first but she got there. You should've seen her when she got her first dear" my head shook, head falling in my face before I tucked it behind my ears. "it was survival, but it was easier between the two of us."

"your parents didn't hunt?"

"no, after my brother they lost it a little. Liked to go out to the bar most days, didn't come home too often apart from food. Wasted the money I earned, so Feyre and I had a common enemy"

"hunger?" Rhys offered.

"selfish people" I corrected my eyebrows furrowing as I looked at him "her sisters could've done anything to help her. Even just by helping her skin the damned things. It's not hard. And she did so much" my jaw clenched as I scoffed angrily "selfish" the word was practically a hiss.

"what did your parents say when you left?" his violet eyes shone with sympathy but anger lay hidden in those distant stars.

"they died before the call came." I admitted "they had gotten lost, drunk. Stumbled across the wall, or so I assume. Their bodies were left in the woods the next day."

He winced next to me.

"I left a week later. Despite Feyre's protests but I-" my eyes latched onto the butterfly fluttering across from us "I couldn't bring myself to stay. I was so full of anger, hatred for everything. And I didn't want her to see me turn into the worse version of myself."

"did it help?"

"no" my voice softened considerably "it just ended up scaring the shit out of me"

He nodded, staring out at the waves.

"your brother, what was his name?"

My eyes watered as I curled my arms around my knee.

"Aiden. I used to call him Trouble. He had a knack for causing havoc so, it fit."

"much alike his sister I imagine"

My lips twitched up and Rhys placed a hand over the one on my knee in comfort.

"thank you for taking care of her when I left."

"it's been my pleasure. Thank you for making sure she made it to me"

I snorted, pushing his shoulder gently.

"sap"

"that's a punishable offense" he teased, and I rolled my eyes, getting to my feet.

"come on, High Lord. Azriel and Cassian promised me a study of their wings"

He stood swiftly, offering me his arm.

"well, best not to keep them waiting"