𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐄 ~ | 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘓𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘤

I

Chapter One: 

~ I have it printed out ~

I awoke to the warmth of the sun streaming through the curtains, bathing the room in a soft, golden light. For a moment, I forgot where I was, but then the memories of the night before rushed back.

I sat up, running a hand through my messy hair, and glanced around the room. The sun was streaming in through the window, painting everything in a warm, golden glow. I could hear the gentle sound of traffic outside, and the distant hum of people.

I realized that I had fallen asleep on the couch. Memories of last night came flooding back to me. The way she had looked at me, the way she had held me... It was all so vivid, so real.

Just as I was thinking this, something beside me shifted a little. I looked over and saw her. She was curled up on her side, her back against me, her head nestled into the crook of her arm. My heart skipped a beat.

Her position wasn't the thing that made my heart ache, though. It was what she was doing.

Between her arms and my own, her body basically wrapped around my arm, keeping it against her. My hand was gently cupping her cheek, my other arm wrapped around her, holding her close. I could feel her soft breath against my fingers, the warmth of her body, the steady rhythm of her heartbeat.

I felt... content. That's the only way I could describe it. Despite the exhaustion that still clung to me like a second skin, I found myself reluctant to move, to break the fragile peace that had settled between us.

I never wanted to leave.

And that thought scared me more than anything else.

I didn't want to leave her.

I wanted to stay here, like this, forever. I could feel the warmth of her body, the softness of her skin, the steady rhythm of her breath.

I wanted to keep feeling this but then again...

I wanted it all to stop.

The feeling that welled up inside of me, that desire to just stay here like this forever, terrified me. I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to feel anything at all. I wanted to go back to how things were before.

But it was too late for that.

What I was feeling right now... there was no going back.

The alarms in my head were going off, screaming for me to run.

Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, RUN.

I didn't want to run, didn't want to leave her. But I had to. Because if I didn't... if I stayed any longer, if I let myself feel any more of this, then I wouldn't be able to walk away. I would never be able to let her go.

Slowly, carefully, I slid out from under her, trying not to disturb her. She shifted a little, her body curling tighter around mine, but she didn't wake up. I eased my arm out of her grasp, her fingers slipping from my skin like water. My heart ached at the loss but I ignored it.

I carefully slipped a pillow under her head, trying to make the couch more comfortable for her so that hopefully she wouldn't wake up.

I looked at her for a moment, then I turned.

I moved quickly, silently, grabbing my coat and my keys from where they'd been tossed carelessly on the table. I tossed one last glance at her before slipping out the door, closing it softly behind me.