Chapter 22
I stared into the mashed potatoes as if they held the future. The swirling mass of creamy potatoes formed into different undistinguishable shapes that I tried to make sense of. But that was definitely better than trying to make sense of what happened today. To make it all worse, it seemed as if everyone wanted to press the issue further.
"Will someone tell me what happened?" This was the tenth time Kerri probed me, trying to keep down her impatience yet at the same time trying to be inconspicuous.
I saw Joel glance at me and Kerri, realizing that we both were talking noticeably quieter. He knew almost instantly what we were talking about. Clearly, Kerri wasn't very good at being inconspicuous.
"Nothing happened," I mumbled, walking along with a huge metal tray of mashed potatoes as people progressed through the line. I could see him try to suppress a smile.
I and the rest of the kitchen crew was supposed to put out the food. Kerri held a large rectangular metal box filled with cooked corn and I held the mashed potatoes.
"Nothing happened?" She said, almost in disbelief. "Right right, nothing happened. That's why you came out of the tent and then disappeared," she casually commented, setting down her tray on the table. "I'm not stupid. Besides, when I last saw Joel come out of the tent, he looked happy."
"So?" I grabbed an emptied tray.
"It can't be all bad if he was happy. Unless it was his fault... was it something he did?"
"No, just forget it." This girl won’t just let it go.
"Oh hell, don't tell me you guys kissed again!" She hissed. A few people looked up.
"No!" I hissed back, defensively. If she kept this up she might come to some conclusion that was worst than what really happened.
"That's what it looks like to me." She shrugged her shoulders.
"That's not what happened," I sighed. "Look, if you have to know--"
"Yes, I must know... because I'm a nosy bitch," she interrupted.
"Yeah I figured," I retorted. "But let me tell you beforehand, it was completely an accident, what happened." I warned her knowing that she would think something bad.
"Yes...?"
"I...I accidentally… took off my shirt ," I said, so quickly and quietly that I hoped she wouldn't even hear.
Unfortunately, Miss Kerri seemed to have ears of a fox when it came to these things.
"What the--?! How the hell do you 'accidentally' take your shirt off?!"
I sighed. It was going to be a long, stupid, story. And so, I proceeded to tell her the long, stupid, story. I tried to take out as much of the details as possible, but it still sounded as bad as it was. I saw Kerri's eyes widen with shock when I was done.
"So... I kinda screamed and took off my sweatshirt... and yeah." I finished, leaving the rest for her to imagine. Which I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.
And boy did she imagine. In fact, she didn't speak for almost twenty seconds... definitely a new record for Kerri Hasselhoff. "Wow..."
I just gave a small whine.
"You were wearing a bra, right?" I raised my eyebrows, clearly saying 'Duh, you idiot'. I could see her relief.
"Well that's not... too bad," she finally said, after much thought.
"Too bad? I just gave Joel a strip-show!"
"Oh come on, it wasn't a strip show. And besides... it's just Joel, right?"
Wait. What?
Just...Joel? So that's what this has come to.
