"What happens when the person you thought you could trust turns into a full blown nightmare... Will you ever be able to heal from the damage? Will life ever be the same again? Well, does love even exist?"
Taylor and Joe have been in a relationship f...
When I open my eyes the next day, the sun is already shining brightly. Someone must have opened the blinds already, otherwise the lights wouldn't be blinding me like that. It's still March but the days are getting longer and the temperature is rising quite continuously. I turn around only to find Joe still lying next to me. He's not sleeping but rather staring at me as if I was some sort of foreign creature he has never seen before. I don't know how to feel about yesterday, but I know that it's definitely not what I want.
"Good morning." I hum with a sleepy voice before rubbing my eyes. "Do you not have to be on set or something?"
"Morning. I took the day off." He manages to say and lets out a big yawn. "Actually I thought we could catch up on some things..."
"Like what?" I want to know and raise my eyebrows all the way up, but before he replies, his hand finds it's way under the covers and right onto my bare thigh, since I'm only wearing shorts, and my whole body convulses. I don't even remember the last time I slept with him or even anything close to that and lately the only way his hands have touched my body was violently. I move a little further away from him.
"I....I'm really...not in the mood..." I try to hide my fear behind a cough, trying to gather my feelings.
"Are you sure?"
I simply nod and crawl out of bed, slowly but quietly and pick some clothes to wear for the day. Finally out of the bedroom I take a deep breath. Why now? Suddenly I'm good enough? I mean of course I crave affection and intimacy but I'm not sure whether we are in the right place for this these days. I examine my reflection in the mirror before I squeeze some toothpaste onto my toothbrush. Absently I brush my teeth, not realizing the minutes passing until I rinse my mouth about seven minutes later. I comb my hair and use some deodorant. After that I get dressed. I chose a pink sweater and some dungarees, hoping for it to be a comfortable fit. When I step out of the bathroom I'm met with Joe once again, who just staggers through the bedroom door. I offer him a forced smile, trying to make it look apologetic and head down the stairs. I prepare some tea for myself and pour the boiling water into a mug I grabbed just seconds before. "Shit! Ouch!" The boiling water drips right onto my finger, forcing me to drop the mug I'm holding in my hand. It hits the tiles and shatters into a hundred pieces. "Fuck!"
Immediately I rush to the sink in order to cool the burned finger with some cold water, before I kneel on the floor to clean the mess I made. "Careful, Benji." I tell the white Ragdoll cat when I spot him next to me. "I don't want you hurting your paws." Gently I shove him aside to avoid a blood bath of any kind and continue picking up the ceramic pieces. When I'm all done the desire for tea has vanished and I satisfy myself with a glass of water.
"What happened?" The actor asks when he enters the kitchen. I can't help but tense up. "I heard some noise."
"Just dropped a mug, it's all fine." I shrug and hold on tighter to the glass in my hand. "I already took care of it."
He nods and continues to make some coffee, a deafening silence filling the room, except for the rattling of the coffee machine, which is quite old and rusty. I haven't bothered to buy a new one yet, not as long as it still does it's job.
"You know...." My boyfriend looks at me and places his coffee on the counter. "That diet's really looking good on you. Keep it up."
I simply nod in acknowledgment ignoring the rumbling of my stomach. I never really went on a diet, he just told me I had gained too much weight and needed to lose some, so I started skipping meals and with a history of eating disorders the relapse happened quite quickly. Well here I am, surviving on one meal a day - at most, water and tea.
"I'm gonna go upstairs, work on some music or something." I let him know before disappearing into the hallway and up the stairs right into the little music studio. I sit down at the piano and the words seem to be flowing right out of my mind and slip from my lips in a way it hasn't happened in a while.
"Summer went away Still, the yearning stays I play it cool with the best of them I wait patiently He's gonna notice me It's okay, we're the best of friends Anyway
I hear it in your voice You're smoking with your boys I touch my phone as if it's your face I didn't choose this town I dream of getting out There's just one who could make me stay All my days."
I sigh before moving on to the first chorus that's been in my head all day long.
"From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I waited ages to see you there I search the party of better bodies Just to learn that you never cared You're on your own, kid You always have been."
I let my hands fall into my lap and take a moment to breathe. I didn't notice the tears running down my cheeks until my lips taste salty whenever I slip my tongue over them. I struggle to find the right words for the second verse when Benjamin jumps up and onto the instrument. "I'm trying to work here, hun." I sniffle but manage a smile at the sight of the happy cat. Somehow I eventually get the rest of the lyrics.
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"I see the great escape So long, Daisy May I picked the petals, he loves me not Something different bloomed Writing in my room I play my songs in the parking lot I'll run away From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I called a taxi to take me there I search the party of better bodies Just to learn that my dreams aren't rare You're on your own, kid You always have been
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this I hosted parties and starved my body Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss The jokes weren't funny, I took the money My friends from home don't know what to say I looked around in a blood-soaked gown And I saw something they can't take away 'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned Everything you lose is a step you take So make the friendship bracelets Take the moment and taste it You've got no reason to be afraid You're on your own, kid Yeah, you can face this You're on your own, kid You always have been"
A/N: I'm dying to read any kind of comment about this story because I have absolutely no idea if it's readable and likable... anyway, have a nice day!! :)))
