band-aids don't fix bullet holes

{92} the edge

TW

Taylor's POV:

I open the cap, the rattling sound echoing through the quiet room. It's almost too easy—just a handful, and everything can stop. The pain, the shame, the feeling of being so completely lost. The thought of silence, of finally being free from it all, is like a promise. I want it more than anything.

I tip the pills into my hand, feeling the weight of them. For a moment, I hesitate, staring down at the small white capsules, wondering if there's still a part of me that wants to fight. I think of Hailey, her laugh, her tiny hands reaching for me. I think of Travis, the way he used to hold me when things felt like they were too much, how safe I felt in his arms. But then I remember the lies, the drugs, and the way I've been slowly breaking apart since he left. The thought of dragging them both down with me feels like too much to bear.

They'll be better off without me.

I swallow hard, blinking back the tears that blur my vision. My fingers tremble as I bring the pills to my mouth, one by one, feeling the bitterness on my tongue as I force myself to swallow them. I keep going, even when my throat tightens and my body screams at me to stop.

The bottle is almost empty when I hear something—a soft creak, like a door opening. I freeze, my heart racing, my body tensing up as panic surges through me. I glance at the doorway, and there she is. Hailey. Her tiny frame standing there, rubbing her eyes, clutching her bunny.

"Mommy?" Her voice is so small, so full of sleep. She looks at me with those big eyes, and I feel the crushing weight of what I'm doing slam into me.

I drop the bottle, pills scattering across the floor as I rush toward her. My hands shake as I kneel down, pulling her into my arms.

"I'm here, sweetie. I'm here."

She snuggles into me, and I feel the tears come, hot and fast, as I hold her.

"Why are you crying?" She whispers.

I try to breathe, but the sobs keep coming.

"I—I'm just sad, baby. But it's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

She pulls back, her little hand reaching up to wipe at my tears, and the innocence in her eyes shatters me.

"Don't be sad, Mommy."

I hold her tighter, the pills already working their way through my system, making my limbs feel heavy and numb. I close my eyes, my body trembling, the darkness creeping in. What have I done?

My mind is a blur as I grab my phone from the nightstand, my fingers fumbling with the screen as I try to type out a message. My vision swims, and I know I don't have much time. I text the only person I can think of—Travis.

Me: Help me. Please. I'm sorry.

I don't even know if he'll see it in time. I don't know if he'll care. But as I hold Hailey close, her tiny body warm and real against mine, I know I can't let go yet. I have to try.
The room spins, and I can feel the darkness pulling at me, but I force myself to stay awake, to stay here. For her. I keep my eyes on Hailey, her face the last thing I focus on as everything fades.

I can barely hold myself up as I clutch Hailey, my body slumping under the weight of the pills spreading their poison through me. The room feels like it's tilting, spinning out of control. Hailey's voice is muffled, and the edges of my vision blur, the shadows closing in fast.

I manage to stagger to my feet, dragging Hailey with me. The walls seem to bend and sway, and every step feels like walking through quicksand. I clutch the dresser for support, trying to steady myself. My breaths come shallow, each one a struggle, and I can feel my heart racing, pounding so loud it drowns out everything else.