"What happens when the person you thought you could trust turns into a full blown nightmare... Will you ever be able to heal from the damage? Will life ever be the same again? Well, does love even exist?"
Taylor and Joe have been in a relationship f...
Shortly after noon I arrive in Newark, where I'm safely brought to the hotel I'm staying in, just like lots of other artists who are attending this year's VMAs. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited, because I just love the VMAs, they're for sure my favorite event of the year and not being able to be there the past year, makes today even more special, even though I started missing Hailey the second I stepped out of the door. I'm aware she's with Eliza and she's safe, but ever since that allergic reaction a few days ago, I just can't seem to shake off the constant worry and the fear of it happening again. On the other hand I'm a little glad to be out of the house for the night, because since Travis left on Sunday, my home has been feeling quite empty. I can't explain why, because everything is basically the way it was before, but when that man set his foot into my house, something changed. He lit it up with his presence, laid a blanket of pure comfort over it, but now it's dark and lonely and I just don't like it anymore. I didn't think I'd ever feel that comfortable in a man's presence again, but it turns out I do, despite the many things I'm still struggling with and the many moments of tears and vulnerability the previous weekend brought along. I just really want this to work out and I dearly hope I'm not running directly into the knife.
Once I'm checked into the hotel and led to my suite I flop down onto the bed, finally having the time to check my phone.
Trav❤️: Hey babe, I'm thinking of you and I'll make sure to watch you kick ass tonight on my TV! Have a good time! In my eyes you've already won 🥇
With a slight blush on my face I quickly type a reply before tossing the device aside, only now taking the time to look around the room. It's simple, nothing special, just a bed, a couch, a bathroom and whatever every hotel suite contains, at least the ones I'm usually staying in.
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Unwillingly I get up again to put my luggage out of the way. It's no use unpacking anything for one night, so I'm just going to leave everything inside the suitcase, taking whatever I need when I need it.
I'm about to head to the bathroom when my phone rings, forcing me to walk back to pick it up before answering it without checking the Caller-ID beforehand.
"Hello?" I phrase it rather as a question.
"It's me." Tree's familiar voice echoes through the phone. "You done sulking?" She asks, referring to the last time I just hung up on her because I wasn't in the mood for her lecture.
"I guess..."
"I just wanted to let you know that Jim's gonna pick you up at 7. I'll meet you there, still got some things to do. I hope you brought your dress?"
"Maybe I'm stubborn but I'm not an idiot, Tree." I roll my eyes. "What about my make-up tho? Can I do it myself?"
"I never said you were an idiot." The redhead lets out a little chuckle. "You just forget things, so I'm here to remind you."
As horrible as it feels to admit, she is right. There are many times I would've been screwed, if Tree hadn't been there.
"And no, I'm sending Sandy over to do your make-up. I guess she'll be there around 6." My publicist continues. "And I'm sorry for flipping at you...you know on Saturday...I just care about your safety, that's all. You gotta tell me all about that Travis though because I don't believe a word about you two just being friends." I can hear her little smirk through the phone, which makes me shake my head in amusement.
"Well, you should, because that's what we are."
"Uh huh...."
"Anyway, I forgive you but next time...please calm your tits, alright?" I say.
"I'll try, now get some rest, you're about to win some awards. See ya later." Tree responds and hangs up, which finally gives me the opportunity to use the bathroom and freshen up a little.
A few minutes later I'm back on top of the bed, eyeing the snacks that are neatly placed in a bowl that's sitting on the little table in front of the sofa. I haven't eaten today. In fact I haven't eaten since Travis left. I just can't do it and I don't want to. When he was there I ate for him, because I wanted to make him proud, because he constantly assured me that he'd never judge me for what or how much I eat, he constantly assured me that I was beautiful no matter what and that the only thing he wanted was for me to be healthy. But now with him being miles away back in Kansas I don't see a point in eating, since I'm pretty sure it's already visible on my body just how much I ate the past weekend and I feel huge.
I drag my eyes away from the bowl and begin to occupy myself with some song writing until it's time to hop into the shower and start my routine of covering my scars, like I always do when I have to wear short-sleeved clothes.
-
At 7:15 I arrive at the location the VMAs are held at, immediately bumping into my publicist as soon as I climb out of the car. Cameras are already snapping millions of pictures, voices mingling together, even though I haven't even stepped onto the red carpet yet.
"Ready?" Tree whispers into my ear.
"Ready." I reply, before she touches up my dress one last time and then ushers me onto the long, pinkish carpet, where I do what I do best - plastering on my biggest smile.
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Finally inside I take my seat next to Ice Spice and impatiently wait for the event to begin, already grabbing a drink from the trays some servers are carrying around.
"Just one." I tell myself, because I really can't risk getting drunk and I honestly don't want to, because even if liquids are easier manageable than food, it's still calories I want to avoid.
The VMA's are a huge success and I end up winning almost every category I was nominated in, sing along to various songs, dance my heart out to "Heart Attack" by Demi Lovato and drink more than anticipated.
"I'm gonna use the bathroom real quick." I mumble, rather slur, to Isis (Ice Spice), when the winners of the last categories are about to be announced, none I'm nominated in though. I get up and stumble towards the bathroom in the back, trying to act as sober as possible, because embarrassing myself is the last thing I want to do. There are only bathrooms for both genders, the cabins are separated but the sinks are combined. I slip into one of the women's cabins, the whole world spinning as I sit down onto the toilet. It takes ages to put my black dress back into place when I'm finished, before making my way towards the sinks to wash my hands. Completely focused on the action, I don't realize the person creeping up behind me through the mirror, until I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"Taytay." A familiar voice breathes into my ear and a cold shiver runs down my spine, making my blood freeze as I finally dare to look up.
No.
A/N: Oh hello, it's me...the past two weeks have been chaotic but I guess I'm back so be prepared for some drama because that's just what I do best...😜
Who do you think is standing behind Taylor?
P.S. The VMA photo of Taylor is obviously edited!!!! (to fit the ED story line)
