band-aids don't fix bullet holes

{41} right down the rabbit hole

Is Taylor Swift pregnant? If so, who's the baby-daddy? Or has the famous pop-star just put on quite some weight since the beginning of the year?
Click below for the ultimate comparison photos! You will be shocked!
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Taylor POV:

Silent tears escape the corners of my eyes, before I click on the link.
I know I gained a bit of weight but someone pointing it out publicly hurts way more than expected. It rips the wounds, I was so desperately trying to heal, right open.
The pictures finally load but when they do, I'm hit by pure reality.

It doesn't need a genius to realize that these kind of articles and photos are all over the internet, maybe not just yet but they will be, because it's never just one.
I hold on tightly to the edge of the table, digging my nails harshly into the wood. With the other hand I reach for the plate of food and push it away from me, having lost any kind of appetite. I've just officially been called fat and only now I recognize the actual difference between pictures of march or april and recent ones.
I have tried not to pay attention to the reflection in the mirror I'm forced to see every single day and at this moment it is literally blowing up in my face. I should've been more careful, I should've kept being more controlling around food, I should've worked out harder. I should've kept track of my weight. Maybe recovery isn't the right path after all...because no one will love you if you're unattractive and being attractive means being skinny, being worth something means being skinny. Maybe Joe had been right all along.

Wiping my tears I get up in quite a hurry, grab the plate and toss the freshly made pasta angrily right into the trash can.

"I swear I'm gonna prove y'all wrong." I mutter to myself, clenching my fists firmly, before taking a deep breath, trying to stop myself from spiraling into a panic attack, however, I'm interrupted by Hailey's cries, forcing me to instantly pull myself together as I hurry up the stairs.

-

Tree's POV:

Still overjoyed by the information of the sold out shows for the upcoming tour, I plant myself on the chair in front of the desk in my office in New York.
Doing my work as a publicst I check out the newest articles about Taylor Swift, the way I do every day. Despite hoping to have to read nothing but positive ones, I'm once again punched in the face by the cruelty of the world.

"Dear lord, what's wrong
with these people..." I shake my head in disbelief as I scroll through the tons of articles with one and the same headline, just articulated a little differently.
Swallowing hard knowing how much Taylor is trying to accept her body and how bad she's trying to gain a healthy relationship to food.
There's no way she hasn't seen these people's words since they're literally plastered everywhere, from TikTok to online magazines, all over the world wide web.
When something is spreading like a fire it's hard to do something about it, however, for the next two hours I try my best anyway; to get at least a few of these articles and photos down, while hoping the singer is strong enough to handle the situation without slipping back into the dark hole she is currently trying to crawl out of.

The sun is already setting, slowly wrapping this sunny november afternoon in the cold cloak of the night, when I switch off my laptop and call it a day, debating on whether I should check up on Taylor or give her some space to cope. Unconsciously I reach for my phone and dial her number.

"I know, Tree. I was literally waiting for your call." The blonde informs after picking up.

"I assumed you already know. I'm not calling to tell you, I'm calling to check in..." I explain, my voice a soothing tone.

"I'm fine. It's just some dumbass opinions, right? I don't care about them."

"Are you sure? It's okay to be hurt as long as you keep your head up high. You're beautiful, Taylor. Maybe they're right and you did gain a few pounds, but I swear that's the best thing that could've happened to you. Your body needed it. You needed it. Please don't back down now, especially not before the tour." I tell her gently, but firmly.

"Don't worry about it please. It's gonna be just fine, I'm gonna be just fine, I promise."

"Okay, I tried to get some articles down but you know how it works..." I let out a quiet sigh. "Call me if you need anything and let me know when Hailey's recoverd so you can start rehearsals. I'll handle the rest or rather what's left to handle considering the concerts."

"I will, thank you"

-

Taylor's POV:

I had to lie. If Tree is to find out about the plan I have created in my head ever since unlocking my phone this afternoon, the emptied fridge, the scale ready below the sink, the reinstalled calorie tracker on my phone, she would force me to stop going down that road again and that can't happen, because I really need to lose some of that weight, at least a few pounds, especially before touring.
I toss the device aside and step back onto the treadmill in order to finish the run I started before my publicist interrupted me with that phone call. Hailey is contently crawling through the gym, exploring whatever there is left to explore, since I made sure to put everything out of her reach so she wouldn't hurt herself. She has been seeming a lot better since that afternoon nap of her's, less fussy, less clingy; maybe we're finally done with that flood of infections.

Half an hour later and with sweat dripping down my face, I finally step off and gulp down a full bottle of water, after having caught my breath just enough. I pick up my daughter from the floor, who instantly offers me a warm smile, and head into the bathroom.

"Are you finally feeling better, sweetie hm?" I run my fingers through her hair and put her down again as I close the bathroom door. Luckily the walls of the shower are made out of glass, so it's easy for me to watch her roaming around while I take a quick shower to get rid of the sweat from my previous workout.

When I'm finished, deciding not to blow dry my hair, we walk down the stairs and I warm up a bottle for the baby which, for the first time in two weeks, she drinks without refusal.

"You're such a good girl." I praise once the bottle is empty.
As I proceed to lay her down next to me on the sofa she lets me, but keeps holding on to the hem of the my shirt.

"Ma." Hailey babbles, before smiling contagiously. "Ma-ma."

I freeze. The word hangs in the air, delicate and precious. A wave of emotion crashes over me, so powerful tears start welling in my eyes. I secretly waited for this moment but nothing could've prepared me for the way my heart is melting right now. It's the first word ever coming from her mouth except for some gibberish now and then.

"Yes Hailey, I'm Mama. I'm your Mama." I quietly sob and scoop her into my arms again, holding her as close as ever, a glimpse of hope rounding off this disastrous day.

A/N: Here it is, just as promised :)))) 
(the comparison pictures are obviously just for visualization!!!)

P.S. The eras tour concert yesterday was breathtaking, I can't even put it into words...just wow...this woman is a goddess in every way possible!!
And btw post eras tour depression
is a real thing😩just take me back!!!