The Fall

Chapter 46

Sage

My eyes are itchy and puffy from crying all night as I wake the next morning, tucked firmly in Kade's arms. After the events last night, I broke down and while I won't tell Kade about my near relapse last night, I knew I couldn't keep the secrets of what I endured at Hillcrest anymore. Especially after I'd confessed to the detective Gentry. Not sure if he's entirely trustworthy, but DA Kincaid did put the fear of God in him.

Tipping my head back, careful not to disturb my sleeping boyfriend, I watch the sunrise cast across his beautiful face. For a moment I thought of surrendering to my demons and shoving the pills Kade kept at the back of his bottom cabinet. I'm sure he thought I wasn't aware of them since he rarely took them back when he was dealing with an old baseball injury.

The ache was there, but I thought of how hard  I fought and if I allow this pain to drive me back to my addiction, I could never be allowed to function again. So I sat in Kade's bed and wallowed in the shock of everything. It wasn't until he finally came home that I completely broke and Kaden just held me and that alone helped me put the pieces back together.

"Good morning, stalker," his raspy voice shakes me from my thoughts and I meet his gaze as he turns to face me. "How are you this morning?" Worry swims in his eyes as it searches my face, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and trailing down my cheek to rest on my neck where my necklace lies on my skin, a reminder that I belong to him.

My lips somehow curve into a small smile and I swallow the lump in my throat. "I'm... still processing everything. Um there's things I need to tell you and I'm still working through it myself I realize." My throat feels impossibly dry and sore from all my crying and Kade sits up to kiss my forehead. "Let me get you some lemon water and if you're ready we can go downstairs for breakfast?" He asks tentatively as if I'm going to jump out of his window any second now.

But all I do is sit up on my knees and throw my arms around his neck and kiss him sweetly, morning breath be damned. The first brush of our lips is light and sweet and his arms snake around me, molding me to him and the kiss deepens when I open for his demanding tongue. The moment his tongue tangles with mine, my hands are digging into his hair and our breaths are ragged with desperation for more. I want him, no I need him to make me forget, to erase every horrible sexual encounter I've ever had with the sweetness of his kiss, the safety of his body, the unyielding trust of his heart. I need this man to make me whole again.

"Baby, wait," Kade groans against my lips, his hands gentle on my arms as they pull my back and when I look into his eyes, I see the winter storm in his heated gaze, but also concern for the woman he loves. He doesn't want to push me too far, but what he doesn't understand is that I need this.. I need to feel in control of my body, just once. "I don't want to rush things and after last night..."

"Kade , I love you so much, but if you don't fuck me right now we're gonna have a serious problem." I pout at him and push on his shoulders until he shuffles down in bed and I'm on top of him. He merely smirks at me before reaching up and cupping my face to place a featherlight kiss on my lips. "You're always in control with me, Firefly. If at any point you want to stop just tell me and we will. As is I'm perfectly fine with a little mutual head job." I silence his teasing with a kiss and his hands are on my hips, loose and I know he's letting me take control and I grind my hips into his hardening cock.

As my tongue explores the sweetness of his, I wait for the fear to creep in. To tell me this is wrong and I'm a slut for wanting this, wanting him. But it doesn't. My body reminding me that I have power here, in his desire for me. Kade groans as his hips shifts upward, the instinct to thrust into me taking front and center. The only clothing separating us are my soaking panties and his boxers, now damp with the evidence of both our desires.