The Fall

Chapter 48

Sage

Trust has always been something I equate to the value of a prized horse or even one of a kind Christian Louboutins. Not only is it expensive, but it's exceedingly rare for one to just suddenly part with it. Everyone with eyes knew of Tanner's infatuation with my best friend, but Erin and I are cut from the same cloth in that regard. We don't expose our hearts' truest intentions because that notion leads you to vulnerability and pain.

That, I understood. However as my gaze narrows on my best friend, I can't figure out exactly when she thought my brother should be on her list of conquests to avoid her feelings for Tanner.

"Sage, I-I.." She stammers, her face paling beneath her face tan. Kade wraps his arms around me, no doubt thinking I'm going to pounce on her. Maybe I am. If Kyle can throw a punch at my boyfriend, it's only fitting I have the same reaction here. Keeping my features cool and stoic, I watch as her gaze slides from Mikey to Tanner and finally resting on Kade. "Kyle wasn't the only guy in this room I fucked so don't act like you're better than me."

I quirk an eyebrow at her because she doesn't know that I know she fucked Kaden at our Christmas party freshman year. Not that she's obligated to tell me considering I'd shoved my feelings for Kaden into a box, labeled that Do Not Open, and tossed it into my old, dead heart. Or so I thought. Erin's hands shake as she holds them up when I peel myself out of Kade's warm embrace and stepped forward. "Wait! Okay! Okay, I slept with him!" She cries as I start towards her with slow strides. Maybe in high school, I'd claw her eyes out because back then a part of my heart belonged to Kade, even when he was done with me. I was still his.

Erin, however, has a bit of a history coveting my sloppy seconds, not that it really bothered me. She still has no idea I know she fucked Hunter in the back seat of his car the night he and I had our first semi break up. Looking at her now, though, I see a girl who's terrified of losing her best friend, to be replaced by my new sobriety friends. "Look, what happened between Erin and I was years ago and it didn't mean a thing to either of us," Kaden sighed behind me and slid his arms around my waist, pulling me back into his body.

"I swear it didn't mean anything and if I knew you were into him at all, I'd never cross that line," Erin pleads as she wiped her eyes and I don't know if it's because I'm sober or the therapy, but I can't find it in me to harbor hatred for this girl. "You're my best friend, Sage, and yeah maybe in the past lines got blurred, but that's because we both were fucked up and couldn't care less about the shit going down around us." She takes a tentative step forward and takes my hand in her trembling ones, a small smile on her face and I'm reminded of the girl who dared to sit beside me at lunch in junior high.

"Seriously, you're gonna forgive her?" Mikey scoffs, sliding off his stool and tossing back his coffee like a shot of tequila and glares daggers at Erin's stiff back. "What happened to bitchy Sage." My brother promptly tossed a bagel at his head and I could Kade growling behind me. "Ouch! I'm sorry Sage!" He grumbles, rubbing his head with a roll of his eyes. "I'm not used to this uh new, more forgiving Sage Henderson. It's quite the adjustment."

I sigh, because I too am adjusting to this thing called forgiveness. I've spent a lot of years hardening my heart or at least drowning my pain through lines of coke or swallowing pills to numb the blows. Relaxing myself in the warmth of Kade's arms, I shrug as though the thought just occurred to me. "Life is too short to spend it angry at the world. Do I like knowing some of the things everyone thinks I don't? Absolutely not, but I can't put that person on a pedestal and expect the absolute best from them." Tears prick my eyes and force them back as I turn to my best friend. Erin was a true ride or die and while others may question her role in my downward spiral, I never did. She held my hair while I vomited during a particularly rough bender, she made sure I was safe when I needed to pass the fuck out, hell she even called my brother whenever things got entirely out of control.