The Fall

Chapter 29

Sage

Kade. Kissed. Me.
It's been over an hour since my family left and my lips still tingle from the light kiss Kade gave me. It wasn't the first time we'd kissed, but this was different. I was different. He woke up something u didn't know I didn't know I could feel.

Primal desire flooded through my veins, but it was different. Underneath the desire was love. I was in love with Kade, no doubt about it. In high school, my feelings for him were a crush, but the only thing I could compare it to was what I thought I felt with Anthony and Hunter.

Back then, it was innocent, an experimentation of teenage hormones. Everyone knew Kade didn't date, especially after the hell his ex put him through, and Anthony and I kept our relationship hidden with sexts and phone sex. Hunter and I made sense on paper. The quarterback and head cheerleader, the power couple of Penhaven Academy. But Kade. He was my friend first, okay he was Kyle's friend, but still he was always there whenever I needed him. Suddenly we were seeing each other differently.

Looks of longing and stolen kisses and touches and then one day he called me Firefly. He never explained why, but it was our thing. So here I am, staring out my window as the snow has fallen harder, blanketing the grounds in white under the dark skies. Dad checked in to let me know they'd made it back to the rental house and we talked for a while.

After completely losing my shit on my family, I was exhausted and while dinner was nice, I was a bottle of nerves, unsure of how to move forward with things now that the wounds from the past had been opened. Mom told me that she'd visit more throughout the week because she asked Lo if it would be okay for her and I to have sessions alone, which she only agreed to under my consent.

Before today, I've never been so optimistic about the future and now I'm forcing myself to imagine what a life of sobriety and happiness looks like. I doubt I'd be able to remain friends with the same people, if I'd even call them friends to begin with, that I'd practically spent night after night getting completely fucked up with or spending the night with them between my legs.

Right on que, my mind flashed back to Kade and the feeling of being in his arms. Safe, loved, and his. Even though I'm sure he's still with his girlfriend and I would absolutely never cross that line, I couldn't help but let myself picture what that would look like, being loved by him.

"I heard your family session was explosive," Linds yawned as she closed our door behind her. I didn't even hear when her key card buzzed her in. I turned to her and she looked tired, ragged. Her honey hair was disheveled, her face was red and a bruise was beginning to form on her cheek.

I shrugged and stood up, the blanket I was wrapped in falling to the floor and I stepped over it. "I kinda lost my shit on my family."

She nodded, understanding in her eyes as she peeled her dress off and stepped out of my flats, wiggling her blue painted toes. "At least it's all out in the open now, right?" I wish that were true, but I've just begun to scratch the surface of the damage done.

"How'd things go with yours?" I asked, watching as her body stiffens. Lindsey quickly threw on a oversized T-shirt and fuzzy socks before turning back to me, her face a mask of indifference. "My dad's still an asshole, so there's that." She hops up on her bed and glared at the ceiling, "You know, he actually said that if it wasn't for my mother he would've stayed with my sister. He didn't give a shit about me, just her."

My heart broke for her and trust me I know about emotional neglect. Well, maybe not like that, but imagine having every part of you stripped away until you stop existing for yourself and for everyone else? "Hey, I was gonna ask Nessa if she wanted to come home with me for Christmas, you should totally come with, if you want?" I bite my lip anxiously and look away. Lindsey sigh and falls back on her white comforter. "I wish I could because it's going to be a glorified campaign stunt when I do return home. Dad's already talking to Lo about having an interview about my 'progress' and turning it into a whole thing."