Light Me Up

15

Peyton looked up at me with big eyes, as she swallowed hard. "Umm, it's not okay morally, no. But yes... It's okay." Her voice was no louder than a whisper. I cupped her cheek with my other hand and leaned in closer to kiss her. It was absurd how badly I wanted to kiss her. The tiny peck she had placed on my lips, didn't quite scratch my itch. 

Of all the times Dr. E's voice came to mind, this one was the least welcome one. "Make a meaningful connection with someone, Harry. Don't just give into desire," her voice echoed in my head.

I paused just as Peyton's eyes were about to flutter shut, making her carefully open one eye to look up at me. No words were needed to underline the disappointment on her face.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered and let out a frustrated groan. "I really shouldn't."

It would have been so easy to just press my lips against hers. She looked like a really good kisser. My body was definitely fighting me, struggling against my decision to step back and let go of her. But the worst part was the look of rejection on her face. She had put herself out there and left herself vulnerable. I got that. It was bordering on being mean not to follow through with what I had started, but making her cheat on her no-good boyfriend was wrong as well. She didn't strike me as the type, who would be unfaithful.

I could practically see her put on her mask, as she shook her hair and nodded. Her mouth smiled, but her eyes didn't, when she looked back up at me and said: "It's probably for the best." Then she patted my shoulder in a very buddy-like manner and started walking back to the doors. 

"Peyton?" I called after her, making her turn around. As she turned and looked at me, the lights from the facade illuminated her face, casting a warm glow that highlighted her delicate features and brought a sparkle to her eyes. The soft shadows accentuated her cheekbones, and the gentle breeze played with her hair, creating a moment that felt almost surreal. For an instant, everything else faded away, and it was as if the city lights were celebrating her beauty, mocking me for missing my chance to kiss her.

"Yes?" She said holding my gaze. 

My pulse suddenly sounded really loud in my ears, looking at her standing there like a picture of someone who had stepped out of a dream. The world around us seemed to blur and fade, leaving only her, bathed in the soft, golden glow of the streetlights. Her presence was magnetic, drawing all my attention, and I couldn't help but feel that this moment was crucial, as if not saying anything to her would make her disappear for good.

"It's not because I don't want to," I said and looked sincerely at her. "It's because I shouldn't." 

She bit her bottom lip while she nodded and kept her eyes on mine for a moment. Then she turned around and walked back into the club.

***