Chasing Clouds [a trans steve steddie fic]

Part 13: Day 9-12

When Steve first got the news of his brother's death, he had seemed almost uncaring, cold. He spoke no words, simply staring at something in the distance that no one else could see. Two days of silence, and then he broke. He had just gotten into pajamas, and Eddie was sitting on the bed watching him with concern, an expression that had taken up permanent residence on the long-haired man's face. He seemed to have a thought, something that shifted in his brain, and suddenly he fell to his knees, grief overtaking him as his body racked with sobs. Eddie jumped to action, kneeling beside him and whispering to him. He sobbed on the floor for an hour, before Eddie helped him take a shower, gently washing him and kissing him all over. It wasn't sexual, more like a gentle reminder that he wasn't alone.

A cry must have been what was needed, because the next day he was feeling a little better, and had started eating again. He went to his appointment, and got his first T shot. It gave him a boost of confidence, and he walked with a new lightness on the twelfth day of summer. He got home that night, and the two lovers held each other. And everything felt better again.

"He wouldn't have wanted me to mourn him, I know that," they were laying on their bed together.

"It's ok to feel Stevie," Eddie reminded him.

"I know, I just... I don't want to ruin our last summer together, is all." Steve sighed.

"You think you're going to ruin our summer by grieving your dead brother?" Eddie raised an eyebrow.
Steve didn't answer, just looked away.

"You wanna get high? That usually helps me get my mind off shit." Eddie grinned.

"Ok," Steve smiled.

***

An hour later, they sat on the roof of the trailer, absolutely baked.

"You're so pretty," Steve mumbled. Eddie was laying down, and Steve was laying on top of him, his head rested on his hand on Eddie's chest.

"Not as pretty as you, little prince," Eddie took a drag of their third joint, letting out a puff of smoke into the warm dusk air. He handed it to Steve, who rolled over and lay beside him, taking a hit of the joint.

"Why'd that bastard have to go and die on me?" He spoke, putting his hand behind his head.

"Because life's a bitch. And sometimes, it kills us," Eddie chuckled, as they watched the bats begin to fly out of the trees, squeaking to each other.

"Yea, well it's not fair." Steve pouted.

"Nothing's fair wonderboy, you of all people should know that," Eddie picked up a rock off the roof and threw it into the air, hearing it clunk on the ground.

"It's gonna suck, when you leave." Steve said quietly.

"Yea, it is. But hey, what can you do? life's a box a chocolate's, you're gonna get at least one turd," he shrugged.

"Did you read that off a birthday card?" Steve laughed, shoving him playfully.

"Nah! My old man used to say it to me," he imitated his fathers voice. "One man's turd is another man's chocolate," he giggled.

"Ok, Willy Wonka ass," Steve teased, taking a drag.

"What do you think of me now, old man?!" Eddie suddenly shouted, sitting up. He shouted at the sky, standing up and spinning. "Are you proud of me now?!!! You old twat!" He yelled, then let out a scream that wasn't even words.
Steve stood, yelling incoherent sounds. They yelled into the abyss, letting everything out. When they were done, they climbed down from the roof, laughing and play wrestling as they made their way inside.