Yours. ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Pen15 (Alex)

27. Anxious

hi!!

it's been a LONG time since i updated this story. i'm not even in my pen15 / alex phase anymore, but i just miss it because it's nostalgic to me. plus, my summer break just started and i'm sitting in my room with nothing to do thinking "hey, maybe i should continue writing chapters for that one fanfic i wrote a long time ago." and then i come back to 72k reads?? thank you to everyone who enjoyed this god awful writing. i don't know WHAT i was on but i barely want to backtrack this story because i'm cringing at myself as i type this. i'll try my best to remember what plot i was trying to follow.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

"Yo."

Delilah woke up with a groan, rubbing her eyes as they adjusted to the light. She looked up to see the concerned face of none other than Dustin. 

"What's up, dude?" she weakly responded. "Where are we?"

He raised an eyebrow, unamused. "Are you genuinely unaware of all the shit you have in front of you right now? I haven't written as many notes in my entire life than you have last night. I mean, fuck, Lila. You're overworking yourself. We've all noticed - even Brandt is worried about you. Like, visibly worried."

Shit. Delilah frantically looked back at the desk she'd fallen asleep on. It was covered in both old and new notes, study guides, and textbooks. Her pencils were running out of lead and her pens were already dried out. 

Junior year was a bitch. At the beginning, everything was fine. She'd been spending time with her friends (and Alex) and her schoolwork wasn't terrible. But all the APs had been getting to her, along with studying for the SATs and worrying about what college she'd get into - or get rejected to. Delilah had been so extremely stressed out to the point where she would go to school with the worst dark circles because of the all nighters she'd pulled.

"Fuck," she mumbled, running her fingers through her messy hair. "It's fine, Dustin. I'm fine. I just need to finish studying for my physics midterm and I'll go to sleep."

Dustin scoffed. "Bullshit. Lila, you have to stop doing this to yourself. Seriously. You haven't come to any parties, we've barely seen you at lunch, and you look like a zombie."

"A hot zombie, though?" she jokingly responded.

"Shut up. You're avoiding the subject," he sighed, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Listen. You need to chill. I know you're stressed about college and the future, but you're seriously going to die before you can even graduate at this rate. And... we miss you. It's like you're physically here, but not mentally. Alex is driving himself crazy worrying about you. Like, all the time. We just want the old you back, Lila. Please. "

Hearing the sadness in Dustin's voice was kind of a reality check for Delilah. He was right - she let herself spiral into the worst mental state possible. She looked back at him and practically burst into tears.

"Fuck my life," she whispered, sobbing. 

Dustin wrapped his arms around her as she cried into his shirt, patting her head in an attempt to comfort her.

"It's going to be okay," he mumbled. "You're going to be okay."

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

The next morning, Delilah woke up determined to change the way her high school life was headed. For the first time in a while, she dressed up nice and did her makeup. 

"Delilah! I'm about to be late for work - can you get Shuji to drive you?" her mom called from downstairs frantically. "Love you! Bye!"

The door slammed shut, and Delilah groaned. Thanks, mom.