Fidelity

54th

As Easy As Breathing

Pagsapit ng Linggo ay nagkita kami ni Austin gaya ng napagkasunduan. He came over and we hung out at my place. We prepared lunch together and killed some time by watching HIMYM. Lumabas lamang kami kinagabihan para sa mass.

"How was your appointment yesterday?" aniya habang nasa manibela ang kamay at nasa kalsada ang tingin. We're already on our way back home.

Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. The summit went well but I can't tell him that. I can't tell him how good my pitch was and how I was able to seal a schedule for our proposal presentation!

I bit my lower lip. It was hard enough to make-up a lie about going elsewhere but to lie again about how it went is even harder.

"Uh.. it's f-fine. Nasummarize ko na rin yung measurements ni Raya," I couldn't look at him. Niligpit ko na lang ang mga balat ng sandwich na inorder namin sa drive-thru. "B-bale magiging busy na ulit kami sa workroom to work on Raya's wedding gown.."

Damn it. Ni hindi ko pa nga nasusukatan si Raya. Totoong magiging busy na kami para sa wedding gown niya ngayong linggo pero bukas ko pa lang talaga kukunin ang measurements niya. We're almost halfway through the suits and dresses of the entourage. Yung sa kanila na lang ni Cal ang hindi pa.

He just gave off a light nod without saying anything. The silence is killing me. Ganito ba talaga kami katahimik pag magkasama? Am I just being paranoid because of lying?

"Can I drive?" anas ko pagkalampas namin sa gate ng subdivision. I didn't know why I said that. Gusto ko lang basagin ang katahimikan at yun ang lumabas sa bibig ko. "Wala naman na tayo sa highway and we're just five blocks away from home so..."

Surprisingly, I am genuinely thrilled when he let me. We switched places at lumipat siya sa passenger seat.

I intentionally drove so slow because I was enjoying it and I don't want it to end just yet. Bihira pa rin ako magdrive kahit marunong na. There are times I still hire designated drivers when I need to go somewhere and I don't feel like driving.

Nag-ring ang telepono ko sa dashboard para sa isang tawag. It was Raya. I answered it before putting her on loudspeakers.

"Hey.." bungad niya. "Pwede bang hapon mo na lang ako sukatan bukas?"

I hitched my breath at her question.

"Sorry... I know we agreed to do it early but Cal's parents invited us for breakfast tomorrow so.."

The rest of the phone call was a blur to me. Raya had to double check if I was okay because it took a while before I could speak. Nanginginig pa ang boses ko nang sagutin siya. I tried to act normal and talk to her calmly until we came to an agreement and ended the call.

Dahan-dahan kong hininto ang sasakyan sa tapat ng bahay. None of us dared to speak. Hindi ko makita nang maayos ang ekspresyon ni Austin. Bukod sa madilim ay nakabaling ang ulo niya sa gilid. His back was leaning on the car seat while his eyes were fixed outside through the window beside him.

Napapikit ako. I knew lying won't do any good. I should have just been honest from the get-go.

"I'm sorry.." I sighed. "I lied about yesterday... Ang totoo niyan ay umattend ulit ako ng panibagong Investors Summit.. I didn't want to bother you about it or burden you with the idea that you have to come with me. I just... I'm sorry.."

Nanatili akong nakayuko habang nakakuyom ang kamao sa hita. I was almost holding my breath as I wait to hear anything from him.

Ngunit nang hindi pa rin makarinig nang kahit ano mula sa kanya ay kusa nang umangat ang tingin ko. I was surprised to see him unfazed and sitting still.