Fidelity

57th

Hurting you

Hindi ko magawang idiretso ang tingin sa camera habang nagpipicture-taking. I can't help but glance at Davion who was at the other end of the stage.

What the heck? He's Vegan? Kailan pa?!

I know he does run a plant-based business but it didn't really occur to me that he's actually Vegan. But now that I think about it, it does make a lot more sense. Kung sabagay, he wouldn't have started that kind of business if he wasn't into plant-based in the first place. And to think that he even get himself in events like this, he must really be serious about it. Ako nga ay ngayon lamang naisipang sumali.

Napagtanto ko rin na siya marahil ang tinutukoy ni Cal na kaibigan niyang Vegan. That ass! Why did he make it seem like someone I don't know?! He could've just said it was Davion!

"Ms. Tuazon! Goodness! You were the youngest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Tuazon?"

Balak ko sanang lapitan kaagad si Davion pagkababa ng stage ngunit naharang ako ni Mrs. Yuchengco na isa rin sa mga major sponsors. Her question caught me off guard so my answers were really short.

I was relieved when she started talking about her plant-based journey instead of asking me more about my family. Tinanong niya rin ako tungkol sa negosyo. I told her that although I haven't really started a plant-based business, my clothing line promotes against animal cruelty.

Muling hinanap ng mata ko si Davion nang sa wakas ay pakawalan ako ni Mrs. Yuchengco. I was able to spot him but he wasn't alone. He was surrounded by the other major sponsors too. They seem really engaged in what they're talking about. Napabuntong-hininga ako.

"Ms. Solace! Please don't forget your token!" labis labis muli ang pasasalamat sa akin ng coordinator bago magpaalam nang matapos ang event. Aniya ay looking forward siyang maimbitahan akong muli next year dahil annual ginaganap itong Green Market.

I met really amazing people even on my way out and the overall experience wasn't half bad! I would definitely love to go again next time!

I didn't realize how late it was until I saw how dark it was outside. Natigilan sa pagpasada ang mata ko nang matagpuan ang isang pamilyar na pigura sa labas.

"Davion!" my eyes widened. Akmang ibubuka niya ang bibig ngunit naunahan ko ito. "I can't believe you're Vegan! Oh my God! Di man lang nishare sakin nila Cal! Alam naman nilang I was desperately trying to surround myself more with Vegans! I don't believe this!"

He closed his parted lips. Hindi niya na naituloy ang kung ano man sana ang sasabihin niya. He got that same stunned expression he had when I approached him so eagerly in his Cafè.

"Paano?! Kelan pa?" I was really having a hard time trying to figure it out. The Davion I know from before was deadass dedicated in building muscles and maintaining his gains! Meat protein is crucial for that. So it really makes me wonder.

He pursed his lips and averted my gaze. "I was just.. influenced by someone I've been following online,"

All the questions I've been meaning to ask them flew out of my system so naturally one by one. I've been so deprived of getting to know a Vegan that I'm having a hard time containing my excitement right now! I've always fantasized about having Vegan friends and celebrating the beauty of Veganism with them!

Wow! It must be a really influential person to have such a life-changing impact on him!

Kaya rin hindi ako nagsasawang magrepost ng videos at articles sa stories ko. Kahit gaano po karami ang magskip, I know there will come a time that one of those clip would touch someone's heart. I am hoping one day I get to influence others in my little ways too!

"I started doing flexitarian, cutting off meat and dairy twice or thrice a week.." aniya nang tanungin ko kung paano siya nag-transition. He touched his nape. He wasn't looking at me as he speak. Nasa harap ang mga mata niya. "And then I did Pesceterian too before going Vegeterian.. Then eventually went into plant-based,"

It's always comforting to hear these kinds of stories. Kagaya ng kanya ay hindi rin naging madali ang transition ko. It was definitely not an overnight-thing. Yun ang common misconception ng iba kaya't kalaunan ay sumusuko na rin. In my case, it took me months of hardwork and discipline.

I could only imagine how hard it must have been for him too. For his baking alone, there are already tons of dairy products involved. Lalo na pagdating sa mga kinakain niya. I remember when we were together, he would even weigh his meals to make sure he gets to eat the right amount of meat and all that is required to keep his physique. He was such a meal plan freak back then who won't lose his gains for anything!

Now that I think about it, he does look leaner than before. He still looks more ripped than any ordinary man but just not as buff as before. Personally, I think this suits him better. But knowing him— the way he used to love and value his gains, it must have been difficult to lose them. Malaking pagbabago ang desisyong ginawa niya.

Hindi ko na namalayan kung gaano ako katagal nanahimik dahil sa lalim ng iniisip kung hindi pa dumapo ang mata sakin ni Davion.

"Did.. you bring your car?" he's back to looking uneasy.

"No.. Nag-grab ako kanina,"

Tumango siya. "I'll book you a ride,"

No! There are still a lot of questions I wanna ask and things I wanna know!

Bago niya pa iabot sakin ang telepono para maitype ko ang address ay nagsalita na ako.

"Where are you heading? Maybe I can just hitch with you if it's along the way," I asked with hopeful eyes.

Ang dami ko pang gustong itanong at sabihin! Things like what he eats in a day and how he practices variety. Does he cook his own food or is he subscribed to any vegan meal plan. Kung may kilala pa ba siyang ibang Vegan at kung meron ay baka pwedeng ipakilala niya ako!

He looks taken aback by what I said and how I look. Napaawang ang labi niya.

I suddenly realized he could've easily offered to give me a ride if it was convinient, but dude opted to book me a cab so there must be a reason. I remember him doing nearly the same thing in his Cafè when he got me a chauffeur instead of giving me a ride. Shit! Kung anu-ano tuloy bigla ang naiisip ko! Paano kung ayaw niya talagang isakay ako dahil baka magselos si Adea? Given our history, I would understand if that was the case. Damn, how could I mindlessly suggest such a thing! Dude could have a girlfriend!

"O-on second thought, I think it might be better for me to book a cab," I awkwardly said, trying my best to save a face. I bit my lip. "I'm sorry that was stupid of me to ask—"

"N-no.. it's just.." he scratched his nape. "Can I... really do that?"

"H-huh?"

He couldn't look at me. His shoe was playing on something at bagsak doon ang tingin niya.

"I'm... not even sure if I'm allowed to be near you.." lumunok siya. "Is it..."

He bit his lip as if he was having a hard time even saying the words.

"Less painful to see me now?"

I was confused. I was lost. By the words coming out of his mouth. By the sudden wrench inside my chest. By the unfamiliar expression he's showing right now. Something I didn't expect to see tonight.

I couldn't say a word.

Pumungay ang mga mata niya. My silence finally brought his gaze up on me.

"I don't... want my presence to burden you, Solace.." there was a glint of sorrow in his eyes. "I'm afraid being around you means hurting you.."