Elena: my life stories (short stories) | book 1 | ✔️

Math tutor

You know I am not good at math and that is some thing that I still had deficit for me, but I remember when I was in the fourth grade that I ended up having to deal with a math tutor named Jennifer that's all I wanna give you that but she was very impatient with me at first, but she was always compassionate whenever I had a rough day at school or had a fight with my parents. It was one thing after another with me either a fighting school or a fight at home that being said she was the one I also talked to!    Let's say that my parents as much as the loved me they couldn't be trust as I said I fought in school or did something wrong and they would be quick to anger  from what i imagine as a kid!   They were in retrospect they were good people who wanted the best for me, and gave me everything I wanted ......but because of the climate of my school life I could not trust that!   But I was able to trust the the damn tutor.....she did not know my past she only saw possibilities for me! Which was one the first people to do that for me other then Ana and nils!  To be honest!
I remeber Jennifer not saying I was talking silly or anything that ridiculous!  She saw just creativity that was bursting at the seems and needed to be channeled into something good!  That was the only good tutor I had!  She wanted me to read and write!  So that being said.....I tried but at the time I was only visual at my stuff! Ie, art and photography!    But I did read a bastard amount in the fifth grade to cope with bullying and what I thought I was "sh*tty parenting!"
I was reading astronomy books the really advanced stuff that got me either high praise or getting me in more fight with the other students.......neither I cared for!
I remember that bye the time I was in 9th grade I had serious communication issues that still need to be fixed....particularly half truths and other communication issues and will get me in sh*t.....but slowly I am working on them voicing my opinion with out pissing others off and trying together my point across with out being rude!  Something I still wrestle with!    But if my school life was more positive then I would be able to turn things around a lot earlier in life and would be mor e mentally healthy and happier! But I guess that things happens for a reason, I was supposed to be a good person, a half-bad!  And I moral person, not to have early success!that I thing is for wussies! People who don't deserve university nor success in life.....and let me tell you I thing there are a lot of people who haven't lived life because they are privileged and never got in sh*t!  That being said I thing real intellect does come from a finite amount of suffering but not the amount that I was inflicted upon not even by my self! 

In the group home there is a sign that says be kind to your self!  With that I learned to put sometime my self first.....it is not a narcissistic thing it is just the way the world should be!  How can we be kind to eachother with out being kind to our selves!  That is what I think about things!

-T.M.