The Lotus's Flame

Misery Part 14

It had been over four weeks since Kaitlyn watched Jax walk out of the hotel, and she finally stopped crying herself to sleep at night. Bailey hated seeing her like this, in so much pain; maybe it would be best if Jax just stayed away and let her forget him with time, Bailey thought. It would always be like this for Kaitlyn: he would come in from the road for a month or so and then turn around and leave her again for another six months to a year. Bailey knew Kaitlyn deserved better, something more solid. She had never expected her and Jax to fall for one another. She hoped it would just have been a pleasant sexual experience for Kaitlyn, and then it would be over. Damn you, Jax, she thought to herself; why did we have to care now? Why
Had not you disappeared on Kaitlyn as you did to me and dozens of other women before us?

The pain Kaitlyn felt inside was devastating; she wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep forever. She wondered if Jax felt the same unbearable pain. She wanted desperately to know.
If he was as lost without her as she was without him. She knew she needed to pick herself up and be strong no matter how desperate she felt inside. She had to do something and was starting to fail all her classes. Her professors kept asking her over and over if she was in trouble. Every time they asked, she lied, saying she had been sick with the flu.

Never before coming to California would she have been able to tell a lie with such ease? Kaitlyn wondered what was happening to her these days. She was becoming a stranger to even herself, a person she no longer knew, who wanted her freedom above all else. Someone who never thought about all the sins they were committing or the price it would cost her in the end. She knew how wicked this all was, especially her feelings. The problem was she honestly couldn't care less about anything but her love for Jax. She was ungrateful to Bailey, who had tried repeatedly to comfort her. She loved Bailey, and he was a wonderful friend, but nothing could fix her broken state, no one, except for Jax; he was thousands of miles away.

Bailey's patience was wearing thin with Kaitlyn and her deep endless depression. She wanted to get her up and out of her bed, off-campus even if it killed her.

"Kaitlyn, get up off your bed. Now, it is time to stop wallowing in your grief. You have to pull it together. Do you think Jax is sitting in some room pining for you? No, he is not. He is living, and so are you," she yelled.

Kaitlyn was shocked at Bailey's words, but she could not be angry with her. The truth was she knew how right Bailey was. So, she forced herself off her bed and over to her closet. She pulled out a mini dress and slipped it on, the slinky black dress shaped her slender figure
perfectly, stopping just at her knee.

"Alright Bailey you win, I know you are right. I have been wretched to be around, but it is time to live a little. I love you like a sister; can you ever forgive me?"

Bailey smiled, "If you let me decide where we are going and let me style your hair, yes."

Kaitlyn laughed too, smiled big, and nodded her head to let Bailey style her hair. After a few hours they looked presentable, and together, they left the college grounds for a little fun.

"We are going to a local dance club called Lost Angels for our little night on the town, I
promise you will like it," Bailey squealed.

The music was banging at the club to an old Joan Jett song. Kaitlyn and Bailey danced the night away, which became a wanted distraction for Kaitlyn; she was having a good time. She found herself smiling and laughing with Bailey and for a brief second her pain of missing Jax dimmed. She felt like her old normal self once again, her fun came to an abrupt halt the moment she found herself face to face with the vindictive Jewel, who rudely pushed her aside to speak to Bailey.

"Hey, Legs aren't you going to re-introduce me to the virgin queen here?" Jewel taunted.

Kaitlyn found herself wanting to punch the cow right in her little smug face.

"My name is Kaitlyn, not Virgin Queen, maybe you are too wasted to remember that!" Kaitlyn hissed.

"Oh, I remember your name pet, I just wanted to forget. Did Bailey tell you how I got my name? Jax gave it to me the first night that we had sex about two years ago." Jewel smirked in a
cocky voice, an evil smile shaping her lips.

Before Jewel realized what she was going to do Kaitlyn slapped her across the face, almost knocking her down. Kaitlyn thought she would be slapped back. She was shocked when Jewel just smiled and then turned to walk away, halfway to the door of the club she spun back around.

"Hey Kaitlyn, don't worry we'll meet again more than likely while I am in Jax's warm inviting bed," She taunted.

Kaitlyn could feel the rage deep inside of her trying to come out, she had to lash out at anything or anyone. She turned to Bailey.

"What the hell was that all about, she did not seem to care when you slept with him, what the hell is the difference?"

Bailey tried to answer Kaitlyn as best she could.

"She was the one who turned me on to Jax and the band. We were friends until now, she saw me as no threat, I guess. She is jealous of you Kaitlyn, Jewel has been Jax's most devoted groupie for years, guess she thinks you are trying to take her place in his bed and his life."

Kaitlyn was devastated to hear Bailey's reply. If Jewel were Jax's lover and not just a one-night fling, would that mean she still would be? Would she have ended up with him on this tour if she had never missed a show? Her mind became frantic with all these tormenting thoughts of Jewel in Jax's arms. The room seemed to be caving in on her. She had to get out there fast. She turned and ran for the front door of the club for air, once outside she slid down the building and wept into her hands.

Bailey ran after Kaitlyn. She was so upset when she found out about Jax and Ruby. She blamed herself for all her pain thinking she should have never turned her on to Jax. She was
so unlike her old cheerful self-sense, he left her in that hotel room over four weeks ago. She was far too pure to understand a life like his full of freedom and fun, where anything and everything went no matter who got hurt. She finally turned the corner to find Kaitlyn slunk down on the ground, her face in her hands.

"Don't even say it, Bailey; I trust Jax; I know it will work out. If I'm wrong it was still worth it to me in the end to be in his arms, so don't say one word," Kaitlyn warned.

Bailey could do nothing but nod her head all right as she helped her friend back to
her feet. After an embrace, they walked back to their dorm room in silence.