The Lotus's Flame

Jewel Part 21

Jewel paced the tour bus floor where she, the rest of the band, and a few groupies partied. What the hell was taking Jax so long? She wondered to herself, all Kaitlyn had to do was
Tell him goodbye and be on her way. She expected Jax to be back by now, sated in grief over losing his sweet and innocent conquest. Nick had already approached her twice to make love, and she refused but knew if she kept saying no, she wouldn't be able to go on the rest of the tour with the band. She did not want to lie with Nick again; he was too soft and gentle for her taste. She wanted a man like Jax who could throw her around with one arm if he had a mind.

Finally, Jewl's curiosity improved, and she snuck unnoticed from the bus back into the hotel. Inside, her eyes grew wide with envy; Jax was passed out cold with Kaitlyn wrapped in his arms. He had a smile on his face as he slept, making it obvious they were not over. Kaitlyn was not asleep. She was lying there looking at Jax as he slept. The look on her face was a mixture of fear and sorrow, and this confused Jewl. They made love; she wondered why Kaitlyn was so distraught. Her gaze swept over her from her face to her body, noticing her dress was torn, exposing her naked flesh. Jewel got it now. Kaitlyn had finally seen the rougher- passionate side of Jax, and it must have frightened her. She suspected she couldn't handle a man like him, at least not when he lost control. She bet they hadn't even got to finish, well. Jax needed a real woman like her in his bed. A woman who takes what he dishes out and begs for more takes pleasure as well as gives it, always ready for his rough passion.

Still unaware of Jewel's presence, Kaitlyn slowly slipped from Jax's arms and the bed. She looked at her dress in the mirror, seeing it was torn to shreds. Warm tears fell down her cheeks as she remembered all that had happened between them. She saw a part of Jax that frightened her tonight, but her actions sent her over the edge. He had been rough in his lovemaking, and she had loved it even more than when he was gentle. She couldn't help but think maybe her father was right when he told her she was evil. She loved Jax wholeheartedly, but the darkness he had brought out of her last night terrified her. She refused to tie him down to someone as confused and afraid as she. Jax was a free spirit, and she loved that about him; she did not want to tie him down or make him feel like he had always to help her overcome her fear of letting go. She quickly slipped his shirt over her torn dress and found a pen and paper to write him a final farewell; she could not face him awake and in the flesh.

"Jax, I do not know how to say this in a way you will understand. I do not want to hurt you. Please do not cling to me when I cannot cling to you. I do not want to feel for you anymore. If you ever cared for me at all, please let me go. I will always remember you." Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn could feel her heartbreak as she lay the note on the pillow next to Jax and then turned to walk from the room. As she walked from the room, she saw Jewel watching her and turned to face her. "I am leaving for good; you can have Jax. I am counting on you to take care of him," she whispered.

Both shocked and confused, Jewel nodded in agreement and walked away, completely awed. She could not believe Kaitlyn would walk out on Jax like this with a note. He would be beyond angry about it. She thought Kaitlyn had to be crazy; she would never do that to him. She felt sorry for the two of them, thinking maybe Jax did love Kaitlyn; perhaps she loved him too. Even though she still wanted him for herself, she was almost tempted to wake him up and send him after her before it was too late. Jewel let her selfish side prevail and walked out of the hotel and back onto the tour bus. All the while she walked, she wondered how Jax would react to the note Kaitlyn left for him. She knew it would not be pretty, especially with his wild temper.

Once back inside the bus, Jewel finds Nick and removes her clothes without saying a word between them. He smiled up at her as he discarded his own. They had rough sex, ensuring she would be going on the rest of the tour. Jewel knew Jax would need her and her body to get over Kaitlyn. She had every intention of helping him and earning his love along the way. She hoped she would replace Kaitlyn in his heart if she played her cards right. She thought perhaps he would love her enough to marry her someday. It was easier to let Nick have her body with all these thoughts in her head.

Meanwhile, Kaitlyn was out of the hotel roomand in her cab, where she let all her anguish and pain come to light. She laidher face in her hands and began to cry vigorously, already aching to be back inJax's arms. Her anguish stung her soul, and she vowed to love him forever, thatno man would ever take his place in her heart. She hoped he would not feel thesame about her, that the letter would set him free. She felt like she had left herself back in thathotel room with him and that she would never again feel whole as long as shelived. She could hardly wait to be back at her college dorm to throw herselfinto Bailey's arms and cry.