The Lotus's Flame

Kaitlyn Part 18

It had been three long weeks since Jax had called her from Texas. Kaitlyn desperately wished he would call again. She missed his deep, husky voice. She missed everything about him from when she woke up to the second she closed her eyes at night. Her dreams were filled with him and his handsome face and perfect body. Did he miss her as severely as she missed him, and did his body ache for her as hers did for his? These were all the questions that she so desperately needed the answers to. She wondered if he was waiting to see her again or had already had a woman fill his bed; if so, was it Jewel? Was she still with him even now? As all these doubts pounded in her head. She barely heard her professor's lecture to the class; it was as if nothing mattered to her except Jax and Bailey. They were the only people that she cared about these days, and college was just a sorry excuse for a distraction from her broken heart. The longer she went without hearing from him, the less she cared about anything.

Kaitlyn glanced across the room to where Bailey sat with a faraway look in her eyes. She knew she, too, was a thousand miles away, making it obvious she missed Nick just as severely as she missed Jax. Both had begun to fail in almost all of their classes. They only had three months to get back on track and get their grades up. After that, it would be too late, and they would be kicked off campus because of spring break.

Just the thought of spring break caused Kaitlyn's father's forgotten letter to pop into her head. All at once, all the fear she had felt that day came back to her tenfold. This fear caused her to drop her book to the floor. A thunder-like bang filled the silent room.

"Kaitlyn, are you alright," her professor asked.

Kaitlyn looked at the overly concerned eyes of her professor.

"No, I need to be excused, please." She answered in a shaky voice.

Not waiting for an answer, she stormed from the room. She kept running as she thought frantically, " God help me. Will my father know I have been with a man? Would he see it in her eyes as he promised he could? What would he do if he did see her sin? When she reached her dorm room, she was so upset she locked herself in. She flung herself onto the bed, shaking all over with fear of her father's reaction at spring break.

Meanwhile, Bailey sat in class wondering what frightened Kaitlyn. She knew she had to get out of class and find her. She wanted to make sure she was all right. She sat patiently there, waiting for just the right moment to slip unnoticed from class until finally, her chance came. The moment her professor turned her head to write a quiz. She slipped quietly, unseen, from her chair out the door of her class. Once out of class, she practically ran to her and Kaitlyn's dorm room, where she found the door to their dorm locked.

"Kaitlyn, it's me, Legs; open the door and tell me what's wrong. What have you been so upset about? Please talk to me."

When the door finally opened, Bailey found Kaitlyn as white as a ghost. Her eyes were wide.

with fear. She pulled her into her arms, and Kaitlyn trembled all over. It seemed like a lifetime before she calmed down enough to stop her body's endless shivering.

"Oh, Bailey, how could I forget the letter my father left for me the day I left home? I mean Jesus, he was so cruel with his words, so cold. He told me that leaving home was evil and that if he saw sin in my eyes when they came up for a break, he would punish me. I just, what am I to do? What if he knows I am no longer innocent? Bailey, his punishments are so brutal." Kaitlyn cried.

Bailey sat there listening to Kaitlyn, finding she hated this man she called her father. She did not understand how anyone could want to cause such fear in someone as wonderful and pure as she was. She felt sad that Kaitlyn suffered such a controlling father and home life. Her fear, shyness, innocence, and uncertainty all made sense now. She found herself wanting to protect her fiercely.

"Kaitlyn, your father is no true man of God. No man of Virtue would be that vindictive and cruel. I swear to you, if he tries to hurt you, I will kill him. I have an idea: Why don't you go home with me to my parents' condo? It is here in California, so you can refuse to see your father but still be near the dorm," Bailey suggested.

Kaitlyn knew Bailey was fitting that her words were sincere and only spoken out of love and friendship, but she still shook her head. He was her father. How could she refuse to
See him even if he did frighten her more than anything else. She sucked in a deep breath deciding she had to face him at least one last time. She must stand up to his cruel words and prove to him and herself that she is free. His approval was no longer needed. Kaitlyn knew this would have been impossible before meeting Jax, but now, because of him and his love, she could do it; she knew she could.

Bailey looked at Kaitlyn; she could see the determination in her eyes. She knew her friend had decided and would not be swayed. She was mesmerized by how much stronger she grew each day. She was proud that she could finally stand up for herself colossally. At this moment, she believed Kaitlyn could stand up to her father and that she would be okay here when she was gone. It helped her to feel less guilty about not being able to stay at the dorms with her. She was going to miss not being able to see Kaitlyn put her father in his place. She was so proud of her and her newfound courage. Knowing she could handle herself confidently and go after what she wanted was good.

Kaitlyn's fear of seeing her father continued to die down in the weeks to come. Bailey helped by keeping her busy catching up in all their classes. Day after drilling day, they would
They quizzed each other on their essays and other college work, and night after night, they talked about the men they missed. Bailey told her she knew even if she did not stand a chance with Nick, she did with Jax. She said she knew by how he looked at her that day he had to leave her to go on tour. The longer she knew Kaitlyn, the more she loved and respected her as a friend and sister.

Kaitlyn was amazed that she no longer feared her father as severely; she could not wait to tell him she no longer wanted or needed his approval or permission to make her life's decisions. She loved this newfound sense of independence that she seemed to obtain just overnight. She knew she had two people to thank for this: Bailey and her beloved Jax. It was as if their love had brought out a part of her that had been locked deep inside. Bailey taught her always to live life her way, never to let fear dictate her actions, always follow her head, and never forget her heart. Jax taught her to always live in the moment and take happiness when offered, and Kaitlyn loved them both for all the strength their love gave her. Nothing could bring her down from her new cloud of hope and confidence.