MY MOON

CHAPTER 18: ALEX

Last night was a whirlwind of emotions I hadn't anticipated. Seeing Alya go off with Dev ignited a rage in me that was as surprising as it was intense. The thoughts of his hands on her, the way he might hold her, touch Alya—my Alya—were suffocating. It was like a dark cloud settling over me, each thought of their proximity a strike to my chest. I was supposed to be focusing on begging her forgiveness, on rebuilding the trust I had shattered, but here I was, consumed by jealousy.

I couldn't help but replay the scene in my mind, over and over. How she went into Dev's car. My words did no effect on Alya, when Dev arrived to pick her up this morning, they looked... normal. Happy, even. Alya's laugh was light and genuine, her eyes sparkling in the way they did when she was truly content. I had to admit, begrudgingly, that Dev was good to her. He was attentive, caring, everything I couldn't be when I had the chance. But acknowledging this only deepened my despair. How could I ever compete with the peace and stability he offered her?

These thoughts swirled in my head, an incessant torrent that left me unable to concentrate. I was in the middle of an important meeting, but the words around me were just a blur, lost in the chaos of my mind.

"Sir?" Dev's voice cut through the fog, but I barely registered it. "Sir?" he repeated, louder this time, pulling me back to the present.

"What is it?" I snapped, irritation seeping into my tone.

"They're asking for your acceptance of their proposal," Dev repeated, his voice steady but tinged with confusion.

I turned to him sharply, frustration boiling over. "What's your opinion on this? Let's take decision based on that" I demanded.

He looked taken aback. "Mine? How am I supposed to—"

"Useless," I slammed my fist down on the desk, the sound echoing through the room. I could feel the eyes of the other executives boring into me, a mix of shock and concern. "Everyone is useless here. I pay your salaries to use that gutter in your head that's called a brain. What use are you to me and my company if you can't even make a single decision or speak your opinion?"

With that, I stormed out of the conference room, the door slamming shut behind me. The meeting, and the deal we were discussing, faded into the background as I walked down the corridor, my mind a tangled mess of rage and regret. I was heading to my cabin, I needed a moment to gather myself, to find some semblance of control.

Back in my office, I tried to compose myself, pacing back and forth in a futile attempt to calm my nerves. The walls seemed to close in around me, every corner of the room a reminder of the turmoil brewing inside. My thoughts were a jumbled mess—flashes of Alya's smile, the warmth in Dev's eyes, and the gnawing fear that I might have lost her for good.

A soft knock on the door interrupted my pacing. It was Dev. He entered tentatively, closing the door behind him. He looked uncomfortable, probably still reeling from my outburst in the meeting.

"Can I have a moment, sir?" he asked, his voice measured.

I gestured for him to sit, trying to mask my frustration. "What is it, Dev?"

He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "I just wanted to clarify about the proposal. I think it's a solid opportunity for us, but we need to consider the long-term implications more carefully. It's not a decision we are supposed to make by our own. That's why I wanted your input."

I listened, but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't focus on the proposal or the business at hand. All I could think about was how close he was to Alya, how she confided in him, how he looked at her with an ease I could never replicate.

Before I could respond, Dev's phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen, his eyes widening slightly. Turning the phone backwards he said, "Sorry, just a call" he said apologetically.

"Who is it?" I asked hoping it wasn't from the one I am thinking

"It's Alya," he said, almost afraid because of my mood.

Something twisted inside me at the sound of her name. But at same time I want to know what they talk, "Answer it, its okay" I said.

Dev answered the call, his voice softening instantly. "Hey, Alya. What's up?"

I watched as they talked about some plan for the lunch, a small smile playing on his lips. Every word, every inflection in his voice, felt like a dagger to my chest. I could barely make out what she was saying, but the tenderness in his tone was unmistakable. It was the kind of tenderness I once knew, the kind I no longer have.

After a brief conversation, Dev ended the call and turned back to me. "Sorry about that. Alya just asking about the lunch."

I forced a nod, my throat tight. "It's fine," I managed to say. "I understand."

But I didn't understand. How could I? How could I reconcile the feelings of jealousy, regret, and longing that tore at me every time I saw them together? How could I fight for Alya when she seemed to have found solace in someone else?

Dev looked at me, a hint of curiosity in his gaze. "Is everything alright, sir? You've seem... preoccupied with thoughts."

I wanted to scream, to tell him how everything was far from alright because of his interference in my life. But I couldn't. Instead, I just nodded again. "I'm fine, Dev. Just... a lot on my mind."

He studied me for a moment, then nodded, as if accepting my answer. "If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know."

I watched him leave, the door closing softly behind him. The silence in the room was deafening, filled with the echoes of my own thoughts. I sank into my chair, staring at the empty space where Dev had just sat. He was right there, talking about my company project, asking for approval. And yet, all I could feel was the overwhelming sense of jealousy, that I was losing everything I want.

Alya. The thought of her, the image of her smile, her laughter, her tears—it all swirled in my mind, an intoxicating mix of love and pain. I wanted to fix everything, to find a way to win her back, but how could I do that when I was barely holding myself together?

I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. There had to be a way. There had to be some path back to her, some way to make her see how much she meant to me. But for now, all I could do was wait and hope that in time, I could find the courage to tell her everything, to beg for her forgiveness and to show her that she was the only thing that made me feel truly alive.