MY MOON

CHAPTER 20: ALYA

"You were just amazing," Casy said, her eyes gleaming with admiration as we walked out of the conference room.

"Thank you, Casy," I replied, unable to hide the excitement bubbling up inside me. The presentation had gone better than I could have hoped.

"You're really good, Alya. In fact, I'm quite impressed by you day after day," she continued, her praise making me blush slightly.

I smiled, feeling a surge of gratitude. "You were a great help, to be honest. So it's half your win too. Don't dump all the credit on me," I said, laughing.

She joined in my laughter. "I honestly thought you were just a product of nepotism, but no, I was judgmental and wrong. You really have talent," she said with a hint of pride in her voice.

"Huh?" I replied, caught off guard. Her words puzzled me. Nepotism? Why would she think that about me? I opened my mouth to ask her what she meant, but she got a call and waved me goodbye, hurrying into her office.

As she disappeared behind her door, the word "nepotism" echoed in my mind. Why would she say that? Did I do something to give her the wrong impression? The thought nagged at me, but I decided to push it aside for now.

I pulled out my phone and dialled Dev's number. After yesterday's dev thought about Alex, I wanted to make sure he was okay.

"Hello," he answered, his voice sounding tired.

"Dev, are you okay? Is everything good at the office?" I asked, hoping to hear some reassurance in his voice.

"Alya, it's okay. What are you doing?" he replied, sounding distracted.

"I just proposed my idea, and everyone loved it! You know, I was really nervous but—" I began, eager to share my success with him.

But he cut me off. "Alya, sorry," he said abruptly. "You know how Alex is with me. I don't want to be on a call with you right now and cause more trouble. I'm really sorry."

"Oh, okay," I said, feeling a bit taken aback. "Talk later." I cut the call, staring at my phone for a moment.

In a normal situation, a girlfriend would either feel sad or understand why her boyfriend needed to cut the call short. But I didn't feel sad or disappointed. I just felt... indifferent. "Oh, cool," I thought, and that was it.

That afternoon, I had to catch a train to Boston for a meeting. As the train rolled down the tracks, my mind wandered back to Dev and our relationship.

The confusion confused my mind with so many questions, Why don't I feel anything when Dev does something sweet? Why don't I get butterflies when he smiles at me? Why doesn't his touch ignite any spark or passion in me? Why can't I find any excitement in being with him?

For the next three hours, my thoughts circled around him, replaying past moments, trying to make sense of my feelings.

I recalled the times he went on trips with his female best friend and how I hadn't felt a twinge of jealousy. Or the times he cancelled our plans, and I hadn't cared at all. Even when he forgot important dates, I didn't feel hurt or disappointed. The truth was, I didn't care about those days either.

I started to realize that maybe, I don't love Dev, Maybe I was just comfortable with him because he was easy and reliable. He was like a warm, cozy blanket on a cold day—comforting, familiar, but not something that set my heart racing.

As the train sped towards Boston, I felt a pang of guilt. Dev was perfect on paper: kind, caring, and always there for me. But deep down, I knew that our relationship was lacking something vital. Till now, I had tried so hard to convince myself that what we had was love, that this was the best thing for me. But maybe, just maybe, I had mistaken comfort for love.