MY MOON

CHAPTER 22: ALYA

Yesterday events lingered in my mind, casting a shadow over my entire workday. Each task I attempted was tinged with distraction, every meeting punctuated by thoughts of Dev and me. Making me question if Dev and I were ever truly compatible.

As the day wore on, the nagging doubts I had been pushing aside for months came rushing to the forefront. Was Dev really the person I wanted to spend my life with? Could he ever fulfill the deeper desires I had? The more I thought about it, the clearer it became that something was missing between us and I don't want it.

I want to stop pretending, its not about last night, it was about the truth I had been avoiding, I realized that my relationship with Dev is beyond save now, it lacked the passion and connection I yearned for. We were good together, but was "good" enough? Deep down, I knew it wasn't. I thought we are similar so it is enough, but I am able to understand what I found in dev wasn't love just a comfort infact a mere distraction.

With a heavy heart but a newfound clarity, I made a decision. I couldn't continue living a lie, pretending that everything was perfect when it clearly wasn't. Dev deserved honesty, and so did I.

I took a deep breath, picked up my phone, and opened our chat. My fingers hovered over the keyboard for a moment. This wasn't an impulsive decision; it was a necessary step towards finding true happiness for me, I cant live believing this is love.

I typed out the message carefully, each word chosen with the intent to convey my sincerity and the depth of my realization.

"Dev, I've been thinking about our relationship and what I need in life. I've came to realise that the feeling I feel towards you isn't love, infact I don't believe even you love me. We were similar and got along well, it's a nice friendship which we mistake to be love. So, I believe it's best for us to break up. I am sorry, Dev, to drag you into my mess."

My thumb hovered over the send button, and for a brief moment. I couldn't continue living a lie, and Dev deserved the same honesty I was finally giving to myself. But then, I thought though our relationship was short, we deserved a proper breakup than just a text.

With a sense of determination, I dialled Dev's number. As the phone rang, I found myself rehearsing what I would say, trying to balance the need for honesty with the desire to spare his feelings. When he answered, his voice was warm and familiar, a stark contrast to the turmoil I felt inside.

"Hey, Alya! Sup?" Dev said, his tone cheerful and unsuspecting.

"Hi..." I replied, trying to steady my voice. "Are you free to talk? There's something important we need to discuss."

"Of course. What's going on?" he asked, concern creeping into his voice.

I hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath and plunged into the conversation. "Dev, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about us, about our relationship, and... I think we need to talk about where we're heading."

There was a pause on the other end, the kind that stretches out uncomfortably, laden with unspoken questions. "What do you mean, Alya?" he asked, the worry now evident in his voice.

"Can we meet in person?" I suggested. "This isn't something we can talk about over the phone."

"Sure," he agreed, though I could hear the hesitation. "Where should we meet?"

"Let's go to the café, the one near the park," I said, hoping the familiar setting would make the conversation a bit easier.

"Okay, I'll meet you there in 30 minutes," he replied.

As I hung up, I felt a mix of relief and dread. This was the right thing to do, but that didn't make it any easier. I arrived at the café before him and chose a quiet corner, away from the bustling crowd. I ordered a tea, hoping it would calm my nerves.