Broken Relations

Stuck in the fight between the heart and the mind

Same night, hotel room.
Isha's pov

As soon as Savi and I reached our hotel room, Savi threw herself on the bed beside Harinee, while I hid the photos of Shantanu and me in my diary.

"Savi, pehle fresh hojao, phir so jao," I said, after I was done. Savi made an annoyed face, but listened to me and lazily went into the bathroom.

After making sure that Harinee is really sleeping, I sat down on the chair, carefully, without making any noise. I opened my diary and took the 3 photos in my hand.

I smiled as I looked at the photos. Shantanu's eyes held a sense of joy. In one of the photos, he isn't even looking at the camera, instead his eyes are fixed on me., while I smile looking at the camera.

I let my hand glide through his face on the pictures and held it close to me. After a while, I putted them back in the diary and flipped onto a new page. I took a pen from my pen holder and started writing.

25th December 2023,

My dear diary,
It's a long time since we didn't have a great talk. Since I didn't write my feelings out on you, while my tears made your dry pages wet. I know you have been my only friend in the times I was alone and I would never forget you. So let's start for today.

Today it's the first day of Christmas. While everybody was celebrating, I didn't feel like going out. I didn't feel like doing anything, I felt just....numb maybe. My mind was stuck on the thought of Shantanu and Preetabeing friends. I mean they were great friends, everyday they would make me realize.

But is there anything bad in that? If not, then why do I get so irritated when I see them together, something more than irritated. Preeta isn't a bad woman, in fact she is really kind. A person with who spreads positive energy everywhere she goes.

Was that the reason why she grew so close to Shantanu? I have a lot of questions in my mind. Today, while walking with Shantanu through the crowd, his hands protectively wrapped around mine. All I wanted to was to ask these questions to him. But I just couldn't. It is so difficult for me to express my emotions at times...so yep, I held the questions for myself, giving myself more stress than I already have.

However, today was the best day since I have arrived here...after my birthday (maybe because I barely remembered anything about that day). But every single thing that happened today is already printed in my heart. We have made memories together, memories which I never will forget. Some days, some happenings seem to heal the wounds you have in your soul since years. Just that one person, just that one touch, just that one effort, it would do miracles and make your heart smile like it once did.

And today, it was that kind of a day. From capturing pictures with Ishu and Shantanu to sitting on the roller coaster ride with fear in my heart. From walking hand in hand with Shantanu to excitedly hugging him in from of everyone. From being annoyed with Ishu's teasing to annoying him along with Savi. It all was just healing. It felt like God was gradually joining the missing pieces of the puzzle of my life together again.

Moments I wished for, moments I once dreamt of, became true today and it was really the best thing. I am more than grateful. My heart is still filled with joy as I think about the day spent with my family. Yeah my family, my husband, my son, they were mine, right? Then why do I fear losing them. Why do I fear that my life will once again turn into that broken puzzle? If that ever happens, will I be able to find the pieces again and join it?

Today was today. But even though Shantanu and I had spent a great time together today, I knew that every thing would be back to normal, once college started again.