- CHANGBIN
I watched her smile in front of everyone's faces while listening to her cry every night. She refused to ease the pain a bit by sharing her misery. She thought she was burdensome but was she?
Not to me she is everything to me and I wish she could see herself the way I see her. I admired her beauty and brains. Her laugh was music to my ear and her smile was the greatest masterpiece known to man. Her heart was the biggest and kindest heart but there were many cracks and bandaids barely holding it together.
She gets hurt a lot and it's not fair. Whether is love or friendship everyone seems to take advantage of her one way or another.
Today was no different. She found out her "boyfriend" was just with her due to some lousy ass bet he made with some friends. I sensed something wrong the minute he walked in through the door a few weeks ago. He didn't seem interested and didn't take care of her properly. A new crack was made and more tears were shed due to some piece of trash.
"Are you okay?" I asked walking into her room cautiously. She was curled up in a ball in the middle of her bed silently crying.
"I'm fine" she tried to lie to me but I knew better than that. I knew her better than that.
"No, you are not and that's okay!" I run my hand through her hair a few times watching the tears drop and her eyes flutter.
"Changbin... am I unlovable or unattractive or do I have an invisible arrow above me saying 'please hurt me' real big with lights flashing." I sat there contemplating what to say. Should I come out and confess or should I just reassure her that she is perfect and everyone around her is fucked up.
"Look... it's not you. You are lovable and extremely attractive. If I could take the pain away I would in an instant. Just know it's not you. I... I know this is not the right time but I'm so fucking in love with you. With every tiny little thing about you. From you concentrating face with your tongue sticking out to your losing everything but your head and me finding it for you. I would live my entire life happy just like this as long as you are happy." I lean down and kiss her forehead. She had stopped crying and was just looking up at me mindlessly blinking.
"Do you really mean all that?" She sniffles drying her tears with the back of her hand.
"Every word of it. I valued our friendship so much more but I can't stand seeing you hurt or seeing you with someone that doesn't cherish and value you the way I can." Slowly swiping my thumb over her cheek she sits up next to me.
"Nothing was going to work in the first place because I was in love with you the entire time. I have been but I didn't think I was good enough for you... I just-" I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and kissed her. I could still taste a bit of her tears but the second my tongue touched her I was gone on a sweet trip to cloud nine. Pulling away she leans in again causing me to chuckle into the kiss.
"I want all of you from your mind, spirit, body, and everything that comes along with." I pecked her lips, nose, and cheeks.
"Stay here with me tonight please." I nod laying back on the bed as she curled up beside me with her head on my chest. The amount of times I imagined this exact scenario gives the feeling of it actually happening no justice whatsoever.
