Two Sides of Love

20

Note: This chapter contains sensitive content related to trauma, sexual assault and vulgar words.

"Elia, you're my girlfriend. But Louise... she's my-"

Naputol ang sasabihin ni Esmael ng may biglang tumawag

"El, nagwawala si Louise, Ikaw ang hanap" rinig ko mula sa kabilang linya

"Im on the way" my boyfriend said.

He ended the call and looked at me with his tired eyes.

"Eli-"

I cutted him off

"Go"

"Baby.." he tried to hold me but I managed to take his hands off

"Go, she needs you"

"Please, baby-"

"My bestfriend needs you, Esmael." My voice starts breaking "I-i-i'm o-okay now don't worry" I said with the most convincing voice

"Fuck" he whispered "I don't wanna lose you, Elia."
Ramdam ko ang sakit sa boses niya

"You won't lose me" I assured him

Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit, tila nawala lahat ng sakit sa akin. Pakiramdam ko'y nangibabaw ang pag-mamahal ko sa kaniya, para bang sumisimbolong hindi dapat ako mag alala sa mga mangyayari.

"When I'm r-ready, I'll tell you e-everything"

I nodded as an answer

Tatalikod na sana siya upang bumalik sa kotse niya at umalis

"Esmael," I called him

Lumingon siya sa akin at saka bumagal ang takbo ng mundo at ang buhos ng ulan.

Im in the middle of love and acceptance, love dahil mahal ko ang boyfriend at ang bestfriend ko. Acceptance dahil kailangan kong tanggapin na mas kailangan ng bestfriend ko ang boyfriend ko.

"I love you" banggit ko na maiyak iyak

"I love you" sagot niya

My heart clenched as I watched Esmael drive away, raindrops tracing rivulets down the windowpane.

Louise needed him, and I couldn't be selfish. I had to swallow my pride.

I wiped my tears, knowing that sometimes sacrifice was the price of caring deeply.

I would be there for Louise, even if it meant standing in the shadows, watching Esmael's loyalty unfold elsewhere.

As the car disappeared around the corner, I whispered to the rain-soaked air, "I choose to be selfless. But oh, how it hurts."

Sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, hindi nag hintay si Esmael ng 5 minutes para masigurado kung lalabas pa ako.

I hate myself for being so sensitive.

Nang nakapasok ako sa bahay ay naabutan ko si mama

"Elia, tignan mo nga ang sarili mo! You're a disgrace to this family. Stubborn, reckless!" Bati sa akin ni mama

I shivered, my wet clothes clinging to my skin.

"I-I'm sorry, Ma. It started raining suddenly, and I-"

She interrupted "No excuses! You've always been a disappointment. Your dreams of becoming an author? Pathetic. You should focus on practical things, like Esmael does."

I flinched at the mention of Esmael.

"Esmael... He's my... ma... He's my boyfriend-"

"Boyfriend? Don't fool yourself. He's valedictorian material, not some dreamer scribbling stories. You're lucky he even talks to you."