𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐀𝐓 [𝟏] 𝐃𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮 || 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟕

POV Shizuka

Partying. What a cliché from TV shows or books. When a girl's heartbroken, she parties, tries to forget, meets other guys.

Even though, in this case, the only guys present are Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Huening Kai.

Yeah, so we don't flirt, tonight.

The boys came up with the idea for this party, celebrating their album release and Hae-ji's birthday, since she's friends with Taehyun and Huening Kai.

I'm sitting on a couch, a glass of beer filled with soda. Because drowning sadness in alcohol, chocolate, and ice cream is a thing of the past. Now, I'm just... elsewhere.

In denial.

I want to mentally slap myself just thinking that. For several nights now, I've been wondering if I'm overreacting.

I come as the villain, so what?

It really pisses me off, though. Especially when my ex, whom I still love, is now dating one of my close friends.

I glance over at Daiyu, dancing closely with Beomgyu, then trying to kiss him. Ha-yoon sits next to me and asks,

- "So, how are you? Is the couch your new best friend?"

I laugh and take a sip before replying,

- "We have good conversations, him and me."

Wait.

I look up and see Daiyu kissing Beomgyu.

What.the.fuck.

- "Hey!"

I get up and approach her. She separates from Beomgyu, or maybe he pushes her away. I don't know, I don't bother to pay attention.

- "Aren't you thinking about Minho?"

- "It's a party, meant for having fun."

- "You don't kiss guys for fun when you're in a relationship," Mi-cha adds, grimacing.

- "You guys are no fun, enjoy your youth!"

Only the music, which no one dares to pause, echoes in the room. The boys are watching us, and I finally see Beomgyu in the kitchen rinsing his lips with water.

Poor little traumatized guy.

- "You're in a relationship now, you can't act like this," I explain to the young girl, placing a hand on her shoulder.

I hope no one notices my fingers trembling with anger.

- "Why should I listen to you? It already bothers you that I've been envious of you from the start!"

I freeze and continue to receive these words:

- "Since the survival show, it's all about you, Sumalee, 'oh la la, two foreigners finishing at the top, oh la la, they're so strong.' No one pays attention to me!"

- "That's not true," Hae-ji objects.

- "Shut up, I'm talking."

She turns to me again, ignoring Ha-yoon, who had just positioned herself in front of the youngest.

- "You're perfect, we get it, but I think you already have enough going for you, so wanting me to be like you, it's not necessary."

She turns on her heel and leaves the room, leaving a chilly atmosphere behind.

I look at the boys, then the girls, then my hands, then the door.

Is this really how I'm seen?

I don't want people to think I want everyone to be like me. That's not true.

I don't think that.

I'm not like that.

I...

- "What a bitch," Mi-cha mutters. "She's insecure, so she'll criticize others. Pathetic."

Ha-yoon agrees and comes closer to me. Soobin even dares to add,

- "It's probably for the best that she's gone."

▪︎▫︎▫︎▫︎▫︎

- "Shizuka."

I look up and see Ha-yoon, who had tried to tie her medium-length hair into a bun.

- "I can't find Sumalee."

- "Maybe she went at her home?" the blonde suggests after we've visited the dormitory for the third time.

I shrug, trying once again to call her, but a hand suddenly grabs my phone, which Ha-yoon quickly hands back to me.

- "You're not even capable of being polite anymore?" she asks the Chinese girl standing before us.

She rolls her eyes and holds out her hand.

- "Mine's out of battery, and I need to reach Minho."

- "To tell him you're cheating on him? How charming," Ha-yoon taunts.

I watch the two members argue.

I try calling Sumalee.

No answer.

Just the sound of their argument.

I look at the front door, with Silver tears written on it.

And a realization hits me like a ton of bricks.

The group is falling apart.