Bound by Honour

7

"Maisie, are you paying attention?" Jaime asked, sighing. We were sitting around the dinning room, Eden in the kitchen humming softly. They were talking about security. I think - I hadn't been paying attention. Sebastian, Cameron, and Jaime looked at me with expectation.

"No, not really."

I tried to focus on the voices around me, but it felt like I was drifting further and further away, lost in a sea of my own thoughts. The fear was always there, lurking at the edges of my mind, refusing to let me rest. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him—the man in the black hoodie, standing just within the camera's edge, watching me. The thought sent chills down my spine, making my skin crawl.

How long had he been there? How many times had he watched me without me even knowing? The questions swirled in my mind, each one more terrifying than the last. I felt so exposed, like my personal space had been invaded, leaving me raw and vulnerable.

Cameron and Sebastian were talking about security measures, about keeping me safe, but it all felt so overwhelming. How could I ever feel safe again knowing someone was out there, tracking my every move? My heart ached with the weight of it all. I couldn't go through this again—the constant fear, the feeling of being watched, the loss of my sense of security. It was too much.

"Maisie, we need to leave in ten minutes. Hurry up and eat," Cameron said, sighing, but his eyes held mine, knowingly.

I glanced at the food on my plate, my appetite completely gone. I was so tired, but sleep was elusive. Every creak of the house, every shadow in the corner, made my heart race, sending me into a state of heightened alert. The exhaustion was bone-deep, but the fear kept me awake, gnawing at my insides.

Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? The sadness settled in my chest like a heavy stone, weighing me down. I missed the days when I could walk outside without a second thought, when my biggest worry was what to wear or what to eat. Now, every moment was tinged with anxiety, every step outside my door a potential threat.

I looked at Cameron and Sebastian, their faces filled with concern and determination. They wanted to help, to protect me, but how could they? The stalker was an invisible enemy, always one step ahead, always watching. The uncertainty was maddening, a constant, gnawing fear that I couldn't shake.

And then there was the sadness—deep, aching sadness that seemed to seep into every part of me. I felt so alone, even with my family around me. The fear and worry created a barrier between us, making it hard to connect, to let them in. I didn't want to be a burden, didn't want them to see how scared I really was.

But I couldn't keep this up. The facade of strength was crumbling, and I was too tired to hold it together. I wanted to scream, to cry, to let out all the pent-up fear and sadness, but I couldn't. I had to stay strong, for their sake, if not for mine.

"Maisie, listen to me - we'll get through this," Cameron said, his voice a lifeline in the storm. He pulled my hands down and hugged me tight.

The worry, the fear, the sadness—they were my constant companions now. I had to find a way to live with them, to keep moving forward, even when every part of me wanted to give up. For now, all I could do was take it one moment at a time, trusting that somehow, someway, I would find a way through the darkness.

I glanced around the room, realizing I wasn't even in the dining room anymore. "You were dissociating, I brought you to your room. You don't remember?" Cameron appeared, crouching down in front of me.

I picked at the hangnail on my thumb, glancing down. 

"Mase, talk to me."

"I can't do this again, Cam. I don't want to live like this, always in fear, I won't do it again," I whispered, my brother leaning in to hear my barely audible words.  He reached for my wrists, pulling them away, forcing me to stop picking.