Breaking point

Truth

My world was spiraling out of control, as much as I wanted to resent my dad for lying about my mom, as soon as he left I was lonelier then ever. There wasn't anyone to talk to so I was left alone with my thoughts.

For whatever reason my brain always came back to Cole and Vanessa and all the pain I was trying desperately to forget. Every time I thought of it, it felt like being stabbed in the heart and punched in the gut at the same time.

It was torture basically.

My dad had only been gone today so far and I was already breaking down. I needed someone to talk to, even if it wasn't really talking.

I pulled the file from beneath my bed, flipping through documents until I found the letters that no one had ever read. They were the only connection I had to my mom.

Looking at the dates, I found the first one she'd addressed to me.

Hey molly, I know you probably won't want to hear from me since you've never met me and probably believe I don't care about you. I wish it were different; that it had been different anyway. I just want to see you or really talk in person sometime. Though I know your dad probably won't allow it since he has full custody and doesn't want me in your life. I'm hoping you'll write back and I wanted you to know that I'm sorry I messed up, that I wasn't the mom you deserve and that I ruined our chance at a perfect family. I hope you can forgive my mistakes and I want you to know I love you no matter what.
Love,
Mom.

I leaned back against my pillow, holding the letter with a sad smile. She'd sent this letter, the first one, 8 years ago.

Even from the short letter, I felt somehow closer to her as if I had a memory to hang onto now. I sorted through the letters to find the next one.

Hi molly, it's been awhile since I last wrote to you, guess I was just waiting hoping you'd send something back. I know you may want nothing to do with me, since I assume you've heard all the stories about my mistakes. I get, trust me, I do, I just had hoped the conversations wouldn't have to be one sided. I can only imagine how beautiful you've grown now. Haven't seen you since you were 3, even then I loved you to the moon and back. Don't know quite what to say, I feel like I hardly know you, I want to know you... hopefully you'll send a reply this time, love you.
Love,
Mom.

If only my dad had given me these letters when they'd been sent. I sighed, thinking about how different my life could've been.

But I guess you can't change the past, though I wish I had a time machine so I could. My mom probably thought I didn't want to know her since she's never gotten a response. Everything could've been so different.

Shaking my head slightly, I found the next letter.

Hey, still no reply, but that's ok I love you anyway. Again sorry I haven't sent anything in so long, I was hoping eventually I'd get a letter from you. Though today it's your birthday, so I had to send something. First of all, happy birthday baby girl! Your turning 11 now, wow can't imagine how much you've grown. Secondly, I wanted to send you a present but I didn't have much money to go out and buy something. Instead, I sent you something of mine. It's in the bottom of the envelope. Hope you like it, please write back and I love ya.
Love,
Mom.

I smiled at her birthday note, as I pulled the thin gold necklace from the envelope. It was small and simple, yet pretty and it just felt special since it was from my mom. The thin gold cord had a little crystal red heart right in the center. It was a choker, but still looked kinda elegant.

Pulling my hair out of the way, I clasped the choker around my neck and picked up her next letter.

Hi, how's it going? Hopefully your doing well, sorry it's been more than a year this time, I've been busy with my new job and waiting for a reply. I got hired as a waitress at a fancy restaurant. As always, I love you so much and I'm always gonna be waiting for the day you send a letter to me. If you do decide to write back, I wanted to ask-

I screamed and yelped as a masked figure slammed on my window, i felt off the bed in terror and papers spread all over my bed and parts of the floor. Hastily I pulled out my phone to call 911, just as I pushed call, the figure removed the creepy mask revealing there identity.

I hung up the phone, glaring at Cole as I opened the window.

"What the hell?!" I screamed at him, slapping his arm through the open window. My windows didn't have screens.

"I got bored and wanted to scare you. Did it work?" Cole asked with a playful smile.

I glared at him, "no I just screamed and fell off my bed for fun." I shot back sarcastically.

Cole grinned, "gotcha!"

Rolling my eyes, I hid the hurt that bubbled back up inside as I thought about him and Vanessa.

"Why are you here cole?" I asked in an exasperated tone.

"I already told you." he shrugged.

"Yeah but why not go scare you girlfriend instead?" I pressed, trying to figure out why he had to scare me of all people.

He scoffed, "what girlfriend?"

"Vanessa." I stated dully.

"I'm not dating her."

"Then why were you guys making out in your back yard the other day?!" I burst out before thinking. My face turned beat red in embarrassment as I realized he'd probably think I was stalking him now.

He caught me by surprise when he laughed, throwing his head back in amusement, "oh my gosh, is that why your being so pissy?"

"Why is that funny?!" I protested, crossing my arms.

"Because she was trying to win a bet with her new boyfriend and I was helping her out." He answered through fits of laughter.

"What was the bet then?" I interrogated, still unconvinced.

"She bet her boyfriend that plenty of guys would still make out with her even though she's taken. Stupid bet really, but hey she won 50 bucks." Cole shrugged as he was finally able to control his laughter.

I felt dumb now. After all the hours I'd spent feeling hurt and alone because I thought they were together again. All over some little bet I didn't know about.

Pursing my lips, I pretended as if I couldn't care less, "oh. cool."

Cole rolled his eyes, "you were so jealous."

"Was not!"

"Oh yeah."

"No!" I protested, folding my arms again.

"So your saying you didn't care at all? That it didn't bug you in the slightest that I was making out with her? And you wouldn't care if I were to kiss you?" Cole taunted with a triumphant smirk.

Silently, I thanked God it was dark, I knew my cheeks were probably redder than tomatoes now.

But I denied it anyway, "yup, didn't care at all, why would I?"

He raised an eyebrow, reaching forward and placing a hand on my cheek, "please, I know you care."

I tried to ignore the rapid best of my heart and the tingles from where his hand was, "n-no I don't."

"Really?" He smirked, pulling his hand back and resting his chin on it thoughtfully.

"Yep." I confirmed in my strongest voice.

"That's what you say, but is it what you mean?" Cole asked with an arched eyebrow as he brushed my hair out of my face.

"Y-yeah." I stammered slightly as my pulse quicken even more.

He raised his eyebrows momentarily before shrugging and turning to walk away.

"Where are you going?" I called as he started to walk away.

He glanced over his shoulder with a devious grin, "to a bar, maybe make out with some random chicks. But that won't bother you since you don't care."

I groaned in frustration, glaring at his back as he walked away.

"Fine! You win! You were right." I yelled after him as I gave in.

Cole looked back at with a grin, "I'm always right."