Snakes and Roses|| Rosekiller || ✔️

9. Feels, Feels, Feels

Evan:

Evan isn't sure how much time has passed since Barty left his room.

He isn't sure when he migrated to his bed, but he's currently sat on the edge of his bed staring at his door.

It can't have been long since Barty left, but Evan doesn't know, he's been lost in his own thoughts ever since. Barty left his room and Evan zoned out, and now he has no concept of time, so it could have been seconds, or minutes, even hours since Barty left and Evan wouldn't know.

He's just staring at his door, waiting.

He's not sure who he's waiting for, or if he's even waiting for anything. He's just staring, feeling empty, feeling lost.

He's so fed up of being lost, he wants to be found. He's looking so desperately for someone that will make him feel at home, someone that will make him feel like he belongs.

He didn't feel lost with Barty.

He felt found, it felt right being with him.

Evan wants him, but he can't have him, and that's his own fault really.

Everything goes wrong for him. He was kissing Barty and then Barty was using an unforgivable on him, he was kissing Barty and then he told Barty to leave.

It's almost like he breaks everything he touches, like the moment he comes close to something it becomes contaminated and is destined to be ruined at some point in the near future.

Evan is so deep in his thoughts he barely registers the knock on the door.

But the second knock pulls him out of his thoughts.

Evan thinks it's Barty and he begins to feel the anger simmering beneath his skin once more.

"Evan, it's me, can I come in?" Evan hears Kit ask through the door.

The anger dissipates upon finding out that the person behind the door is Kit and not Barty. "Come in" Evan calls out, hoping that Kit can hear him.

Kit opens the door and closes it behind him before he walks over to Evan's bed and Kit takes a seat next to him.

"I went to the library to see if I could find you there, by the time I got back everyone was talking about what happened. I'm sorry, Evan" Kit says

There's pity in his eyes that makes Evan's skin crawl because he doesn't want pity. All he's ever had from people is pity.

Poor Evan, he hasn't got any friends.

Poor Evan, he can't stand up for himself.

Poor Evan

He doesn't want to be Poor Evan anymore, he doesn't want the pity anymore, it's weighing him down, he wants to feel light, he wants to be free but he's so heavy, he can barely keep himself afloat anymore.

"Don't look at me like that" Evan says

"Like what?" Asks Kit

He doesn't even know he's doing it, doesn't even realise he's pitying Evan, that's the sad thing about it, people just do it naturally, without even thinking.

Poor Evan

"Like you pity me" Evan replies

"I don't" Kit says

Evan gives him a single nod, unsure of how to respond to that because he isn't entirely sure he believes him.

"Evan, I don't pity you. I know what Snape and Crouch did to you, but I also know that you fought it. Do you know how hard it is to fight an Imperius Curse?" Asks Kit