Needing 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

MUGS AND HALF-EATEN CUPCAKES

DECEMBER 25TH 2003

TARA

"Mama."

I groaned as I felt a small, warm body fall on top of mine. "Mama," the little voice insisted.

"Tara, wake the fuck up," Joey's groggy voice reached my ears. "Our kids are freaking the fuck out of me."

"What?" I yawned, opening my eyes slowly. I nearly jumped out of my fucking skin when I saw four pairs of big eyes staring at me—three brown and one blue. "Where's the fire?"

"Mama," Sean repeated, lifting his chubby arms toward me. "Up."

"How's my little sunshine?" I cooed, sitting up and tickling his round tummy. The duvet fell into my lap, revealing the makeshift beds we had cobbled together in Joey's room. Tadhg and I were huddled in one bed, Shan and Ollie snuggled up in another, and Sean had nestled himself with Joey.

"We wanted to give you your birthday gifts," Shan said shyly, her face pale and dark circles shadowing her eyes. It looked like she hadn't slept a wink.

"We asks Nanny for help," Ollie chimed in excitedly, thrusting two oddly wrapped gifts at us. I stifled a laugh; it was evident that he had taken the lead in wrapping them.

"For the last fucking time, Ols, it's 'asked,' not 'asks,'" Tadhg snapped in frustration. "You pay attention in class, don't you?"

"Tadhg, be nice," Joey and I said in unison, our tones carrying a clear warning. "And apologize," I added, nodding toward Ollie, who had his shoulders slumped and was casting a dejected glance at his older brother.

"M'sorry, Ols."

"Now give him a hug," Joey said, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "Give your little brother a hug."

Tadhg's brown eyes widened in disbelief as he look at him. "Are you fucking serious?" He then looked at me, "Is he fucking serious?"

"Did he stutter, Tadhg Lynch? Give your brother a hug, c'mon."

Tadhg glared at Joey and me, his face a mask of annoyance. But, seeing no way out, he reluctantly turned to Ollie. With a dramatic sigh, he wrapped his arms around his little brother in a half-hearted hug. Despite the lack of enthusiasm on his part, Ollie's face lit up with a wide, genuine smile, his earlier sadness melting away.

"I'm starting to like this parenting shit," Joey muttered thoughtfully, leaning over to give me a discreet fist bump. "It's like they have to do everything we tell them."

"Don't take advantage of them, Joseph," I told him with a light laugh. "How about we open this gift, Seany-boo?" I grinned down at my baby brother, who was enthusiastically playing with the wrapping paper and giggling.

Carefully, I began unwrapping the gift. As the paper fell away, I revealed a mug nestled inside. "Jesus fucking Christ," I heard Joey curse next to me. I looked down at the mug and immediately understood why he had reacted that way. On the front were crude drawings of all of us. Admittedly, they bore little resemblance to us, clearly the work of a 2-year-old artist, but our names written above each figure made it clear who each person was supposed to be.

"Do you like it?" Ollie asked shyly, his eyes hopeful.

"Come here," I said, opening my arms. My younger siblings rushed to hug me, their small bodies pressing against mine. "This is one of the best birthday gifts I've ever received. Thank you."

Sean laughed and babbled, pointing to his drawing on the mug. I imagined he was explaining to me who each of us was, his little finger moving from figure to figure. Meanwhile, Tadhg, Ollie, and Shan moved over to Joey, wrapping their arms around him and wishing him a happy birthday as well.

My brother's face softened as he embraced them tightly, his earlier frustration melting away. "Thanks," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "You lot really know how to make a fella feel special."

"We also have this," Tadhg announced, his face lighting up as he pulled out a container of cupcakes from behind his back. "Nanny made them for you, but someone"—he shot a glare at Ollie, who flushed a deep red—"ate half of them."

Joey, rubbing his belly and trying to suppress a grin, took the container from his hands. "Nanny's muffins, and they're chocolate." Without missing a beat, he gobbled down one of the muffins. "Here," he said, holding out another one to me, "they're fucking delicious."

"I've done this," Shan said, stepping forward with a brightly decorated greeting card. Her small hands trembled slightly as she extended it toward me. When I saw the card's message, my heart nearly broke. It read, "To the best parents in the whole world."

"Shan..." I said softly, my voice catching.

"You're the only ones we know," Shan said, her voice gentle but firm, as she gave me a small, encouraging smile. Tadhg and Ollie stood beside her, nodding solemnly in agreement.

These kids.

My poor heart.

How could I even think of leaving them?

"Happy birthday, Mammy Lynch," Joey said with a snort of laughter, clinking his mug against mine. Ollie, Tadhg, and Shan were already devouring the remaining cupcakes, crumbs dotting their happy faces. "Here's to another 17 years by your side."

"Right back at ye, Daddy Lynch."