Needing 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

TRUTH, DARE, SPINNING BOTTLES, AND WAIT...MANGO WHAT?

JOHNNY

So, my girlfriend was avoiding me.

And I knew it because she was being nice. Really nice. Weird, right? You'd think, "Hey, she's your girlfriend, she's supposed to be nice to you." But Tara wasn't like that. Not usually. She had this sharp wit, a mouth with no filter, and a knack for driving me up the wall—but I loved that about her. She kept me on my toes. My girlfriend had the unique ability to get under my skin, to the point where sometimes, I swore she had the attention span of a goldfish. Honestly, when it was just the two of us, she was like a caffeine-fueled puppy, bouncing from one thing to the next, dragging me along for the ride whether I was ready or not.

Me? I was the opposite—laid-back, chill, the type who could laze around for hours. Tara always said I reminded her of a lazy, fat cat. The 'fat' part, though? I've no idea where she got that from. I was solid muscle, not an ounce of fat anywhere. My diet was strict as hell, and I spent more hours at the gym than most blokes my age. Physically impossible to be fat. Tara didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

When we were together, though, it was like being kids again. No responsibilities, no pressure—just fun. I was so fucking madly in love with her, and she made me feel alive, reckless even. It was like nothing else mattered when she was around. I think she felt the same way. We'd bicker over the stupidest things, and when she was in a mood, we'd have these petty little fights, but they'd blow over almost as quickly as they started.

I guess part of it was that neither of us had the chance to be proper kids growing up. I gave up my childhood when I was ten, when I decided to chase my dream of becoming a pro rugby player. Tara? She had to grow up even quicker. She'd been looking after her siblings since she was five. Mistakes weren't something we could afford. For me, a mistake could mean the end of my rugby career. For Tara, a mistake could put her mam or her brothers and sister in danger. So, all the little, dumb mistakes most people made as kids? We were making them now, in our relationship.

And honestly? I found it funny. It reminded me of my parents. They'd bicker over the smallest things too, but when it came to the big stuff, they were solid. Da used to say that Mam loved winding him up when they were younger. Apparently, that hadn't changed much because she still had him wrapped around her finger.

It was the same with Tara and me. I was completely and utterly whipped, and I wasn't even ashamed to admit it. My girlfriend? She loved it. I think she liked feeling like she had control over me—especially when I was on my knees.

Yeah, that's what did it for her every single time. I'd figured it out early on. If I wanted her to forgive me or get her to agree to something, all I had to do was drop to my knees, kiss her a few times, beg a little, promise to be a good boy, and tell her she could have her way with me. It worked like a charm. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

I never thought I'd enjoy being dominated, not that I'd had much experience before her. But with Tara, I loved it. Maybe it was just because it was her. I'm always in control of everything else in my life, so letting her take the reins now and then? It felt right. She didn't have to say it, but I knew sex was a delicate subject for her. Feelings made her nervous, and she was fucking terrified of getting too close. The Mansion had fucked her up in ways she refused to talk about. She'd brush it off like it was nothing, but I could see right through her.

If the beach date wasn't enough proof, every time we got close to having sex, she'd tense up. Her confidence would vanish, replaced by this jittery, anxious energy. It broke my heart to see her feel ashamed of her body because most of the time, she was the most self-assured, commanding woman I knew. But when she showed me this vulnerable side? It was like she was trusting me with something precious and fragile, a side of herself she rarely let anyone see.