Needing 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

GOD IS A WOMAN

JOHHNY

So... bringing Tara home hadn't exactly gone as planned. At first, it sounded like a dream—having my girlfriend under the same roof, day in, day out. But in reality? Not even close. Instead of sharing peaceful moments, I had to share her with a whole army of her siblings and even my own parents. My own parents—yeah, I could barely believe it either.

Sean was the first to claim her, practically glued to her side like a baby koala clinging to its mum. If he wasn't asking her to read him a story or drag her into some wild imaginary adventure, he was holding her hand, as if she might disappear if he let go. Ollie was no better, always tugging her into the living room to help him build some Lego masterpiece or into the kitchen to bake cookies, his little face lighting up whenever she was near. And then there was Tadhg, who always wanted her to help him with hurling drills out in the garden or scheme with him on his latest prank ideas—pranks that, without fail, always ended with poor Gibsie as the target. Shannon, on the other hand, would pull Tara aside for sisterly chats that seemed way too private for me to overhear.

Even my mam had jumped on the bandwagon, making Tara her new fashion consultant and practically dragging her out shopping every day. They'd return with bags filled with clothes, jewelry, shoes, and sometimes random decorations for her room. And Dad—he wasn't much better. He'd corner her in the kitchen or his study, talking endlessly about the legal details of her house renovation or whatever other excuse he could conjure to keep her from spending time alone with me. Apparently, he had a "sacred duty" to ensure I didn't "defile and corrupt his precious baby girl," or so he claimed.

And Joey hadn't even come home from rehab yet. God only knew what would happen when he arrived—he'd definitely want her time, too, especially with Aoife's baby on the way. A newborn would mean even more time Tara would be pulled away to dote on the little one. It was insane; she was living under my roof, but I'd never felt further from her. I saw less of her now than I ever had when we were in different houses.

As if things weren't already ridiculous, since the day she moved in, Mam had practically made it her life's mission to keep us from being alone together in the same room. And if she wasn't watching, Dad was more than happy to take over. They even enlisted Ollie as their little spy, bribing him with pocket money and extra Legos to rat me out if I so much as looked at Tara for too long. The little brat seemed to take pleasure in reporting every stolen kiss and sneaky cuddle. Tadhg pitched in with his usual enthusiasm, too, pelting me with sliotars from the treehouse if he thought I was getting too handsy with Tara in the garden or even in the hammock Dad had set up for her.

Shannon was the only one who didn't go full sabotage mode, but she'd give me the stink-eye whenever she caught us together. Hypocrite, too, considering Conrad practically lived here, and the things those two got up to were anything but innocent. She had the audacity to give me grief when I wasn't even half as dodgy as her.

Why have enemies when you've got friends and family like that?

The one saving grace in all of this was the nighttime. Somehow, Mam was oddly fine with me sleeping in Tara's room, with the door locked and everything, as long as it wasn't my room. I didn't argue—at least I got to fall asleep with her next to me, which felt especially precious now that I'd be leaving with the U20 squad right after my birthday. I didn't know when we'd get nights like this again.

Tara was getting back on track too—pun very much intended. Fintan hadn't accepted her withdrawal, and in a stroke of revenge for making him think she was dead, he was making her compete. I was there with my dad when he delivered the news, and the man had even pulled out a few crocodile tears, going on dramatically about how "devastated" he'd been, thinking his "gold medal-winning Olympic baby" was gone. He'd claimed he'd considered stepping down as Ireland's Head Coach, but I'd bet it was all for effect.