Needing 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

THOSE THAT CAME BEFORE

JOHNNY

"Jonathan," I heard a voice, soft but insistent—her voice. "Open your eyes."

I shook my head, trying to fight off the familiar ache creeping up on me. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. My mind was playing tricks on me again, showing me what I desperately wanted but couldn't have.

This was a dream.

This isn't real.

But God, how I missed her. I missed her so much it hurt. It was a deep, raw ache, one that had settled into my bones and made it painful to even breathe.

"Jonathan," her voice insisted, more demanding now. "Open your eyes."

"No," I muttered, squeezing my eyes shut tighter. "Don't ask me that."

"Jonathan Robert Kavanagh Jr., open your eyes right now, or I'll shove my brothers' hurleys so far up your hole they'll come out your gob!"

That did it—my eyes flew open, and there she was. Tara. Real as anything, standing right in front of me. My heart just about stopped. She stood there, bathed in golden light, looking more beautiful than I'd ever seen her. My heart stuttered in my chest, torn between joy and heartbreak. It was her. It was really her.

Her hair was shorter now, just brushing her shoulders, but she was still as breathtaking as the first day I met her. Her eyes sparkled, looking lighter and more carefree than I'd ever seen, as if a weight had finally lifted from her. And something about her seemed older, more grown-up, as if she'd lived lifetimes since we last saw each other.

She was wearing my jersey, the one that had my number thirteen proudly stitched across the back. She paired it with white linen trousers, her feet bare as they sank into the soft sand beneath her. That's when I realized—we were on a beach.

"You look..." My voice caught, and I had to swallow hard to get the words out. "You look gorgeous."

Her smile lit up her face, and the knot in my chest loosened just a bit. It always did that—her smile. It had a way of making everything else disappear, leaving only her and me. And even though I knew this was a dream, it didn't make the ache in my heart any less sharp. I knew I'd wake up soon, and she'd be gone again.

"Where are we?" I asked, my voice hoarse as I glanced around the beach. It was so quiet, so peaceful.

"Somewhere only we know."

I couldn't stop staring at her, my eyes drinking in every detail. It hurt to look at her because I knew, deep down, that this wasn't real. I would wake up, and the bed would be empty again. But for now, I could at least pretend.

Tara tilted her head to the side, clearly amused. "Well, someone can't stop looking at me today."

Her voice.

That voice I hadn't heard in what felt like forever.

I missed it.

I missed all of her.

The very sound of it hit me like a punch to the gut, bringing every ounce of love and pain back with it. Without thinking, I crossed the distance between us in two steps, cupping her face in my hands, and before she could say a word, I kissed her. Hard. It was desperate, full of everything I hadn't been able to say since she left.

I kissed her like I was pouring every bit of my soul into her, hoping it would somehow be enough to keep her with me. I kissed her to tell her how much it hurt to be without her, how empty life had been without her. I kissed her to tell her how much I loved her. I kissed her in a silent plea, begging her to come back to me. Begging that when I woke up, this wouldn't all just vanish like the cruel dream it was.